You asked for it

Ok, since I do not watch Gilmore Girls, Supernatural, the OC or any of your other show I cannot agree or disagree with what you are posting most of the time. All I regularly watch on TV is Mythbusters, and Inked a reality show on A&E about a tattoo place (it is on after mythbusters).

Anyway, I went and saw the movie Venom yesterday. It was pretty dumb. I would make a graph to display the JPA (James' DPA) but I feel that it has been almost overdone. Besides, a pretty much flat line with one spike doesn't need a visualization. The highlight of the movie has to be the chase scene where a girl is hanging between a large tow-truck driven by the "monster" and a jeep driven by the group of teenagers that have survived thus far. Here the girl is held by a chain, around her neck, by the monster and the teenagers have her feet. Being suspended like this somehow the girl is still able to scream for help (apparently not being choked). I am anticipating the girl's body splitting in half as the road splits up ahead, showering the teens in blood and innards. However as the road splits, the girl is gored by a large dead tree laying at an angle between the roads. Her body stays suspended in the tree like a child's kite. The only other miniscule blips on this flat-liner would be the tow truck pulling 1/4 of a house away from the rest of it, and a guy getting slashed and mangled by a crow-bar yielded by the monster. In my opinion, I suggest not wasting your time with this one and sticking to the Transporter 2.

Leaving the theater however, I did see someone rollerdancing Roll Bounce style.

Another highlight of my time down here in Florida was a few weeks ago when I rode space mountain 10 times in a row. It was pretty sweet. The line was less than 5 min, so I just kept going on it.

Minnesota, Here I Come!

I have the next 7 hours planned out. Then all I know is I will be in Minneapolis with the boys doing lord knows what. I assume there will be horrible things going on tonight, followed by flying cars and ghost boning tomorrow, then delightfulness Sunday, capped off by sleepiness Monday. Sounds PERFECT. I am extremely excited.

Pat - See you there, old chum.
Dan - Hold down the fort.
Caps - How's Florida? (post something!)

Quit staring at my wife's ass; I bet you don't even play the drums!

Last night I saw the best concert ever. This statement packs some punch, because I don't say it often.

No "cage" can confine the Mates of State's love.

In all seriousness, Mates of State was excellent. Definitely not the best concert I've ever seen, or even the best I've seen them, but it was fun. Whereas I felt like I was dreaming during the entire Sigur Ros show, during Mates of State I felt completely awake and alive. I'm pretty sure I was smiling the entire time, especially when Metzger got up on stage and danced with the female Mate.

There's much to love about their live show: the "surprised" faces they make during "unexpected" pauses or keyboard fills, the fact that the male Mate is one of the most creative and original drummers around, the way they can produce as full a sound with only two people as most bands can with four or more. But undoubtedly the best part about seeing Mates of State is the feeling of warmth you get from watching this husband and wife do what they love with who they love. It's impossible to deny the concept of true love after seeing these guys. Not only do their voices and playing styles perfectly complement each other, as if they were truly meant for each other, but their eyes quickly dart back to each other any time they have a break in their singing duties, as if they were truly meant for each other.

Every previous time I've seen Mates of State (with the obvious exception of the first time) I would tell myself that I've seen them and that their gimmick won't have the same effect, but every time I fall in love with them. This time I went in with high expectations, and they were met once again.

Well done, Mates of State. Well done.

I told you it wasn't me.

http://wisc.facebook.com/group_profile.php?gid=11378

Mootzgorilla

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Add-on to Pat's Post Below

I decided to make this a post, I'm big time. Pat, let me agree/DISAGREE with some of your points below.

DISAGREEMENTS:
In AD it wasn't "no touching" this time - it was "more touching!" Ha ha ha, yeah, Mom and Dad, get in there!

AGREEMENTS:
I agree with everything else you said.
Hahahaha, "gather around, humans."

Moving on, the "Pizza, pizza" "Bark! Bark!" "Salad!" Thing was great. I had forgotten about that. In retrospect this was a better episode than I gave it credit for in my post. Though I am somewhat disturbed over the reports of forced pillow-screams. Furthermore, you're right! It is Girzle's fault that Rory is being dumb. Dammit, Freedmont! (Whoops! *bing!* Check the side bar!) Let's get our acts together, shall we?

Based upon your testimony I shall not be watching Supernatural.

A la HDR

Here's my take on the last week of television.

Gilmore Girls

Much better than last week, methinks. We need to get Rory and Lorelai back, stat. I'm sure this will happen soon, but it's urgent. Rory's life as a community service expert, Daughter of the American Revolution, and spy for her grandmother is really kinda lame. As I would say to Mootzgorilla, apologize!

Big Ups:
-Rory in her first scene. The pink shirt and bangs scene. Yaba haba!
-The dog barking to "pizza," barking twice to "pizza, pizza," and sitting silently to "salad."
-Metzger screaming into the pillow (albeit a little forced by me) when the construction guys got to see Lorelai naked.
-Me bringing a notebook to write all this stuff down in.
-The Mystic Hammer.
-Good job with the band. Bring them back.
-Luke talking CJ up about his shelves. Also Luke taking care of the dog. What a guy. He ranks right up there with Sara Quin and Chris Polley on my crush list.

Big Downs:
-Lane is not nearly hipster enough. Pink streaks in her hair? A picture of a drumset on her shirt? I don't think any hipster drummer would wear a shirt with a picture of a drumset. Plus, her band's name is "Hep Alien."
-New Tristen. I already forgot his real name, which surprised me when I heard it this episode. This guy is a drag. He's making Rory act all messed up, and he's just kinda cocky and irritating. Boo.
-Rory. Look what's become of your life, Miss Gilmore. Get your act together!
-No Kirk?


Supernatural

This week's episode begs the question: are the two money shots per week really worth an hour of my time? This show is awful, but there are two great moments every week. This week it was character X (like it matters, anyway) having his boat flipped over by the aqua-ghost and the aqua-ghost lurking above the surface for a couple seconds to haunt character Y.

Other than the money shots, this show is unacceptable.

Big Ups:
-The money shots.

Big Downs:
-Everything else.

Next week: "It starts as a normal flight; it ends as an exorcism 30,000 feet in the air!" Looks like I'll be watching, again.


The Office

I really like this show. A lot. I love the subtle (and not-so-subtle) glances back at the camera, the ridiculousness and awkwardness of the boss, and especially Jim and Pam's relationship. This is the most anticipated relationship since Luke and Lorelai. I can't wait until my life is like this in four months.

Oh, and Jenna Fischer is really hot.

Big Ups:
-Jenna Fischer.

Big Downs:
-Jenna Fischer not always on screen.


Arrested Development

This is the smartest show on television, now that Six Feet Under's six feet under. I love the abundance of references to previous episodes, as early as the pilot. I love the Steve Holt plot. This is, in my opinion, the best show on television. Sorry, Gilmore Girls.

Big Ups:
-"No touching!"
-Lucille making the face.
-"Momma's horny, Michael."
-"That's a lot of money for the stupidest idea I've ever heard."
-"You're gonna get some live-ins."
-The return of GOB's penny suit.
-"Gather around humans!"
-"Free Chicken."
-"Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?"
-Bob Loblaw (ok, this is next week, but this made me laugh for three minutes straight).

Big Downs:
-This whole British plot makes me nervous, but I'm sure it will work out.

Lego Wars, Page Changes

I'm having trouble making this site look good (in my opinion). I think it's getting there - still pretty dull. Fix it if you can.

In the mean time, Check this site out: Brikwar Battle Report. So very strange. What on earth could the rules of this possibly be?

"At this point, I finally got to do some damage. Both of my mecha's made it to the top of the hill, and opened fire on the rock monster. My kamikaze had already detonated himself, killing the only soldier that Jeff had in that area. My Space Champion is also there, hiding between the legs of my black Locust mech. You can see his death gun pointing out."

OH MY LORD

Hahaha, go now! Go now!!
http://www.saw2.com/
(careful if you're at work - there's sound)
(the sound is important - if you can, turn it up)

Click on the "Age Gate" - you actually have to enter proper info, they verify it with some database! Crazy!

I am Proud of All of You

I am Proud of Pat making the comments a popup - so much better. Also for the word verify - a good idea if ever there was one. Plus now I get to type hillarious non-words like qurfyt! Ha ha, you've never heard anything so silly.

I am also proud of Dan's first post, which I enjoyed berry much. I especially liked the maverick behavior of 6 Feet Under on the DPA graph.

Sigur Ros Pt. 2

"But the Sigur Ros live experience is actually alarmingly sublime: revelers inevitably emerge groggy, either from the power nap they snuck in mid-set, or from achieving something close to transcendence. Either way, no one ever really sees straight on the walk home."

So true.

Pitchfork's Amanda Petrusich does a far better job reviewing the show than I did or could, if anyone's interested. Link.

Sporadic Greatness Is Still Pretty Great

While I'm happy to see this blog has such great discussions on the hotness rating of Rory Gilmore (on a minute by minute account) and the proof that Dave is in fact actually some sort of midget for his family I feel that one topic has not been fully explored yet. And of course that is this season's break out show of the year, Supernatural.

For those of you who were too blinded by Rory's Hotness to notice the ads that come up ever 5 minutes on the Gilmore Girls and missed the first episode let me catch you up.

Imagine the show starting in a dark house and a mother wakes up to a baby monitor giving off (scary) static. Naturally she gets up to check on her child and finds a man looking over the child and assumes it's probably the Father and that everything must be fine, despite the odd fact that the "father" was wearing a trench coat. Hearing another sound downstairs she goes to investigate that as well and finds.....

THE FATHER IS DOWNSTAIRS!!!!!!! But then who is with the baby??????

The mother races up the stairs and all you hear is her screaming. The father wakes up and runs up stairs but mysteriously the mother is nowhere to be seen. The only thing in the room is the crib, Oh, and the DRIPPING BLOOD FROM THE MOTHER'S BODY THAT IS NOW STUCK TO CELIING! Naturally the mother then spontaneously combusts. And the greatest series opener since Six Feet Under comes to a close.

At this point I assume this may be one of the greatest shows ever, but unfortunately most of the show was rather disappointing. I ran Supernatural and some other TV shows through a highly complex statistical analysis program called MS Paint that produced this graph.



A few things to notice here. This is a graph of a show's "Dan's Perceived Awesomeness" or DPA versus time. We clearly see that Supernatural is normally under the average, but does spike well above even the Gilmore Girls for brief periods of times. Another interesting note, we can see evidence of when Rory's hotness peaked three times in a row. For more information about this phenomenon please see this report. Additional research can be found here. Also notice that even though Six Feet Under isn't even on TV anymore it is so good that it still does whatever it wants and does not need to follow the laws of time or even the boundaries of this graph.

As we study the data on Supernatural for it's first two episodes we see the first spike is clearly due to it's opener. The second spike is when they tried to shoot a ghost - I mean that's pretty bad ass thinking you can shoot a ghost. The third spike is when another character started on fire with out any reason. Again.

The most interesting part of this graph is actually the fourth spike. What happened was the beginning started with a group of people camping. Naturally I assumed that the ghost from the first show would come and send one of the campers flying the ceiling of the tent where they would bust through the tent and spontaneously combust as they fall into the sky. Just the thought of that caused the shows DPA to spike despite them never actually doing it. The rest of the show was fairly downhill and ended with what was supposed to be a "Super Predator" standing still for a full thirty seconds while it was shot at with a flare gun.

While Supernatural had a solid start it needs to change significantly to stay on the air. First of all, stop talking about the lost Dad, a plot so boring that I didn't even bother to write about it in this review. Secondly, even though last week's show ended with someone starting on fire, it was nowhere near spontaneous enough. Finally, change the name of the show to Fire Ghost. Maybe that would keep the DPA at a respectable level.

Site Changes

I changed the footer of the posts to a headder - I like seeing who wrote what by the title. I can move it back/put it in both spots, just say the word.

Double Feature from Explosion Heaven Ruined

I'm sorry to post that A Sound of Thunder is already out of theaters. Luckily, Transporter 2 still rages on in a flurry of kicks and flying cars, meaning we can go see it next weekend, Pat! I'm extremely excited.

(Also, I saw the Corpse Bride - pretty unimpressive.)

My Cousin

Firstly, let me just say how much is sucked not getting the Packers game here (stupid Chicago), though watching them fall to 0-3 might not have been the best way to spend a Sunday (and watching the bears get pummeled instead was pretty deece). Secondly, I hope you guys watched the Badgers game, it was fantastic.

Moving on, but not leaving football, let me tell you about my cousin Nick. Nick is a true Ryan: 15 years-old, sophomore in highschool, at least 6'9" (I haven't seen him for a couple of years), and easily over 350lbs. He didn't play football last year, but I guess his coach finally convinced him to, as I was just sent pictures of him playing offensive line:


(He is #79, in case you couldn't tell)

It appears Nick plays between two pretty small linemen - I'm pretty sure they line up next to Nick so Nick can put his arms out over their heads and block for them.


I mean, just look at #7 there, that guy better not be trying to block. Tight end, maybe?

Here's one of him in action:

This is almost hard to see, but just on the left side there, the red smudge? That's the guy Nick is blocking. Note that Nick is pretty much just standing there, while the red player certianly seems to be pushing with all his might.

So anyways, pretty cool. Don't mess with the Ryans, man, we'll sit on you.

P.S. I just found more pictures of Nick playing football on our family's online photo album thing.

That's what I'm takking about!

"Hahaha. Hey guys, check this out!"

"You idiot. Put the bow down. We're trying to start a band here."

---

It's funny how my brain works.

Last Wednesday I saw Tilly and the Wall play at Union South. This was a paid show, which is unusual for Union South. What was really odd about this, to me, was the fact that I had never heard of Tilly and the Wall. I've usually heard of most of the bands that play at Union South, and I've never heard of a band that I've never heard of playing a paid show there. Hahaha...I'm leaving that sentence like that.

So anyway, I was intrigued by this Tilly and the Wall band, simply because I'd never heard of them. I decided to check them out, only to hear from the guy selling tickets at B-Side that the show was sold out. At this point I felt like I was really missing out on something, and I decided that I had to go. I went to the Union to see if I could get tickets, and they said that they had plenty left and that the guy at B-Side was nuts. I got tickets, but I was kind of bummed. The illusion that this band was gonna change my life quickly faded. (For the record, this band definitely did not change my life. More on that later, maybe.)

I had a similar situation tonight. I convinced myself that I had to go see Sigur Ros, or my life would be over. Keep in mind, I knew they were coming for months, and I knew tickets would sell out, but I made no effort to get them. I really didn't have a strong urge to see them, until I saw that tickets were selling for 75 dollars on eBay. I'm gonna go ahead and blame capitalism for this phenomenon.

So I bid on a few tickets, I emailed some people from craigslist who were selling tickets, but I was unable to get any. Showtime was approaching, and I was sad. Since I had nothing else planned, I figured I'd walk the four blocks to the Orpheum and see if I could get lucky; maybe someone had an extra ticket. I passed two members of the band, speaking in Icelandic, on the way to the venue, which just increased my crazy desire to see them.

When I got to the venue I found a guy selling a ticket for 40 bucks, which sounded like a steal to me. I got my wallet out, and realized I only had 10.

"Ah crap. Wait right here. I'm gonna go to the ATM at the corner. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere," I said to this guy. I went to the ATM, and when I got back he was gone. I was crushed. I thought I had lost my chance.

I decided to wait a little while longer, as I saw dozens and dozens of people walk inside the venue. Those lucky f'ers. All of a sudden I saw a guy holding up a ticket.

"How much do you want for that," I asked him? (Is that punctuationally correct?)

"I dunnow. 22?"

I felt like I was hit by a truck.

I gave the guy 25, which was the original price of the ticket, and told him that he was my hero. I really wanted to hug him, but I managed to restrain myself to a handshake.

So I went inside and saw the show. The opening band was very good. I didn't catch their name, but they were four women that played probably a total of fifteen instruments. They had to struggle to get around each other, since the stage was full of a grand piano, a xylophone, a drum set, a stand for a string quartet, and a table with an iBook, bells, and other smaller instruments. Their music just kept building and building...it kind of made me feel wistful and introspective. I loved it. They also played with Sigur Ros, mainly adding strings, but also a little xylophone and keyboard.

When they were done, instead of playing music between bands, they played what sounded to me like a cello swelling, crescendoing and then decrescendoing over and over again. It was strangely beautiful. This was actually one of the least pretentious things the audience would experience for the rest of the night.

I believe Sigur Ros once claimed that they were going to "change music forever," but I never believed them. I've heard their records. I've enjoyed their records. But I never thought they were revolutionary, or even really that close. This show, however, was revolutionary. This was one of the best shows I've ever seen, and if it weren't for that nostalgic inertia that memories gain as they sit in your mind, it may have been the best show I've ever seen. From the moment I saw the silhouettes of a man playing a guitar with a bow and the drummer sitting idly (they played the first and last songs behind a translucent sheet), to the fading of the word "Takk..." on the screen behind the stage, thanking the audience for listening, I was in a trance. There was not a second when I wasn't absolutely stunned by what I was hearing, and, more often that not, what I was seeing too.

Nothing I can say will do justice to this show. If you enjoy Sigur Ros even marginally, and you have the means to go see them, please do.

I had a dream last night.

Figure 1. The dream I had last night.

(Sighs.)


Now, on to the Gilmore Girls. I wasn't impressed with last week's episode. I believe at the time I gave it two thumbs down. I didn't like the dog (although I did like it when the dog locked itself in the car). I also have no interest in Liz and TJ at this point, and I think Rory and Lorelai are both acting preposterously, and it isn't really doing it for me.

There was one thing I did love about this episode. Metzger and I agreed that Rory's hotness peaked three different times. IN A ROW. She just kept getting hotter and hotter and hotter, before returning to her average hotness level for the last half of the episode. I hypothesized that she even surpassed Lorelai's hotness during the episode. Naturally, I ran the numbers, and this is what I came up with.

Figure 2. Hotness as a function of time. Click for larger view.

There are a few things we should note while looking at the data. First and most obvious, Lorelai and Rory are far hotter than average. Second, Rory did in fact surpass Lorelai during this episode; however, by the end of the episode Lorelai was still hotter. Lastly, it's interesting to note that even before the peaks of this week's episode, Rory's hotness was far more volatile than both Lorelai's hotness and the average of all women. Very interesting indeed.

It will be interesting to see whether or not these patterns continue in the future. It will also be interesting to see whether or not Amy Sherman-Palladino can get her act together. Sure, the dog is funny and cute, but I personally feel like I need more. Let's have Rory and Lorelai make nice so they can continue with their witty banter.

Oh, and bring Jess back.

Previous Post Merely Hillarious Gag

Turns out Pat Hayden may be a decent guy after all.

Has Pat Hayden, internationally hated jag-off, been mislabled as such? Recent reports tell us that Pat Hayden might not be so bad. Huh.

Pat Hayden: Revealed as Inadequate

Today, Pat Hayden was asked to look at this picture featured on popular search engine Yahoo!:



Close friend David Ryan asked Pat, "who's the girl there with 50 cent and mariah carrey?" To which pat reasponded, "I think that's Hilary Duff." He thinks that's Hillary Duff, does he? Well, ladies and gentlemen, further investigation showed us that Pat Hayden is a liar. An idiot, a thief and a liar.

The true identity of that girl with 50 cent and mariah carrey turns out to be Carrie Underwood, recent winner of popular tele-drama American Idol, seen here counting Pat's one, pathetic brain cell.


"Note that you can't spell pathetic without Pat," Ms. Underwood pointed out.

So true, Ms. Underwood, so true.

Pat went on to call his 35 year-old professor, "so old you could almost die by standing too close to him and his age osmosing into you." Pat Hayden's rampage continued by openly discussing his plans to somehow buy a ticket to a musical performance of little-known rock group, "Sigur Ros" for "38 bucks" (bucks being a common misnomer for dollars frequently used by mental featherweights like Pat Hayden), despite only moments earlier describing the price of a ticket as, "like 50 clamshells." (Clamshells being a form of currency used in a popular cartoon, The Flintstones, which used to run on television.)



A quick conversion shows:
(38 "bucks" = 38 dollars) < (50 dollars = 50 "clamshells")

This expert testimony shows that Pat Hayden is a thief. His earlier assertion that Carrie Underwood is named Hillary Duff shows his status as a liar. And his belief that he could get away with such claims shows his idiocy. Idiotic Cheating Liars will always be caught in the white-hot beam of the light of truth so long as we remain vigilant. Keep an eye out - Pat Hayden is a jerk.

1)Welcome 2) Good Job 3) I'm Schwanky

1) Caps, old boy! Glad to have you aboard. How's Florida treating you? Pat, good job with the renaming, and little changes. Perhaps we should move this whole shindig to a new url.

2) I love the movie review below. You can feel the pure emotion and love of kicking. You know, here at Barnsley we stress kicking. I need to go see that movie. Oh, that and A Sound of Thunder. Pat, I'm thinking maybe a double feature at some point? ZZZ, if you come to town with Pat for the Tegan and Sara lesbonian tongue bizzare, perhaps we could go then.



3) Tonight marks the second time in the last few weeks that the office is closing early on Friday (3 today) to go next door to the Chicago Athletic Association and have drinks in the fanciest-pantsiest bar I've ever seen/been in. Old men with tons of cash go there just to take naps, I kid you not. So while you guys are at work/class/going out to Mondays (I'm looking at you, Hayden), I'll be sitting in huge leather chairs and staring at huge paintings of naked women and dead animals and drinking expensive beer. I'm pretty important.

It's all downhill from here

Sorry for my recent absence from the blog. The last couple of days have been pretty busy. More on that later, maybe.

For my first post, I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. Part of me wanted to discuss an issue of great importance to mankind. Part of me wanted to talk about a defining moment in my life. Part of me wanted to offer words of wisdom to anyone that reads it.

So of course, I decided to do all three:


Movie Review: The Transporter 2



I was back in my home court: Marcus Point theater on the west side of Madison. No more of this Evanston crap. Although it may not have had milkshakes, there would be no clowns talking through the whole movie. Thank God for that.

From the first minutes of The Transporter 2 I was hooked. Jason Statham mortally wounding four HUGE guys in such beautiful choreography (and subsequently asking the young woman pointing a gun at him, "Don't you have homework to do?") really got me going. I sat back and prepared myself for the ride of my life. I couldn't wait to see who or what the next transportee was. Drugs? The President? The Pope? Weapons? The only person who knows the cure to cancer?

Wait a second...this looks like a school. It is a school! What is this...The Pacifier meets, um, The Transporter? Who's gonna want some young, dumb kid? Snooze fest, right?

WRONG! I don't want to give the plot away, so I'll leave it at that. I will, however, give you my three favorite moments in The Transporter 2.

3. The Transporter fights off about six guys using a fire hose with a large, metal nozzle. By hooking the hose around paint cans and flinging them at a dude's head, kicking the metal nozzle at a guy like a teather ball, and using the hose as a lasso to catch someone running up the stairs, The Transporter escapes danger again. Oh, and while he's finishing them off, he ties them all up in the hose and turns it on, sending the bad dudes flying everywhere.

2. "Uh oh. There's a crazy Russian supermodel with two automatic, lazer-sighted pistols, and she's shooting the shit out of everything! All I have is this ordinary wooden door to hide behind. Thank God it can withstand gunfire! Now that I did an awesome backwards somersault into this room, what am I gonna do to get out of it? OH! A Nitrous Oxide tank! I'll open the tank, put it on a cart, and roll it out into the hall, where she's still shooting! Next...I need some fire! I'll throw this unidentified substance at the neon lights above to make fire! That'll ignite the nitrous oxide and make the tank a missile that will fly exactly at the Russian supermodel! What, she jumped out of the way!? Well, I suppose if I can dodge bullets, why can't she dodge my homemade guided missile. I knew I should have taped my Palm Pilot to it so I could control it better." That has to be, verbatim, what he was thinking during this scene. It was awesome.

1. What would you do if there was a bomb on the bottom of your car? Probably leave the car, right? That's because you're not The Transporter. This dude likes his car more than he likes his suits, which he likes more than the goods he's transporting, which I'm pretty sure he values over life. Instead he decides to take the car off a ramp, do a corkscrew in the air, and, while he's upside-down, catch the bomb on a hook on a crane. The bomb explodes before he lands (perfectly on all 4 wheels, of course). Nice try, bad dudes.

Oh, he also catches a bus on a jet ski. On land. Think about it.

So, in conclusion, he can drive, he can fight, he can make bombs out of anything, he's quick, he's clever, he's benevolent, he's well-dressed, he's good with kids, he can fly a plane, he can hold his breath for apparently five minutes, and he's available for a job (thank God they set this up for a sequel).

My recommendation: go see this movie. Then buy three copies of the DVD. That way when your jerk friend borrows a copy, you'll have a back up just in case the one you're watching gets scratched.

I'll leave you all with a quote, from user Eyes_of_Amber on the IMDb message board for this movie:

"Holy $hit!! Could Jason Stathman be any hotter in this movie?! Jesus Christ! Me and my friends were BURNING UP in the damn theatre!!Especially the part where he's all wet and he just rips his shirt off in the street!! Oh my GOD I practically fell out of my seat yelling, 'ORGASIM!! ORGASIM!!'"

Well said, Eyes_of_Amber, and well done, The Transporter 2.

Caps' Honorary First Post

1) Caps was sent a member invite, so I look forward to him joining up
2) This picture (from Caps) is fantastic
3) I assume at some point someone else will post to this blog.

Pile Shit on Drunk People

I had no idea, but apparently people take pictures of when they pile shit on their passed-out friends and put those pictures on the internet. This is fantastic - I had to try very hard not to laugh out loud at these at work.

(PAT - I seem to remember us doing this in, oh, 8th grade?)

Gilmore Girls 9-20

Oh my, I loved it.
LOVED it.
There were several times that I proclaimed my love for it.

Particularly, I loved the dog, and Bob the architect.
And Luke.
And even Loreli.
And the thought that the dog had busted the hole in the wall.
Haha, oh and when the dog locked itself in the car... Great stuff.
Oh man, and Rory can't look anything but crazy hott this season, apparently. (good for her)

Rory was being dumb (she will be for 1.5 - 4 more episodes, I estimate)
Big ups to Suki getting some screen time. Where's Jackson?

The season is in a definately upward trajectory after that marvel of televisionography.

-DAVE (easily mistaken for a 12 year-old girl) RYAN

The King's Magician's Alchemist

Troy was a man with a plan. A plan to stand tall in the face of seemingly unconquerable foes. The plan came together about a week ago after being told by his boss' boss (the King) that his mice that he supposedly made by putting a bag of grain near the fire for a few nights actually just walked in there. Troy was madd pissed. Troy set out to take over the kingdom and oust the big-mouth king.

"F him and his shit," Troy said atop the tree stump in the town square, "F him and his tyrrany and his lies!" This particular stump once grew tall and strong into a great oak that the people loved very much. They loved its shade and its leaves. The children loved climbing its branches and watching its squirrels. But that morning Troy had cut the tree down to make an appropriate stump. Because of this the townspeople were already not apt to listen to Troy. Also, they tended to like the king quite accutely. "Nay!" They called back in unison, "Nay, for the king is grand, and he does his job as well as any before him!" It was strange to hear it spoken by so many as if they were one.

Pat: "1 2 3 4!"

Us:"If your out on your road!
Feeling lonely and so cold!
All you have to do is call my name!
And I'll be there on the next train!

If you lead!
I will follow!
Anywhere-er-er that you tell me to!
If you need me! You need me to be with you! I will follow ow Ow OW!!!!

Where you lead I will follow anywhere that you tell me to!
If you need me! You need me to be with you I will follow
where you lead."
(Or something closely resembling that depending on the person)

Me: "Good job this week guys!"

Wham Wham

Here is me stomping on your head:

Wham!
Wham!
Wham!