I told you it wasn't me.
posted by P. Arty @ 10:15 AM
10 comments
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Dan Metz, AKA
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10 Comments:
You dumbass. Why would I steal my own whiskey and change???
You dumbass. To make me look guilty as you escape with Dave and Laura's change!!!
You dumbass. Excellent detective work, Jabber Jaw! Wow, this is really damning, Goozer. (Oh crap, now I have to add ANOTHER one of Dan's nicknames.)
Look at Metzger's EYES
Seriously. I really think we're on to something.
I move to remove all charges from one P. Arty Hayden and transfer them to Daniel Goozehouse Mootzgorilla.
Woah, let's not be hasty here. All evidence except this points to P2K. The Gooze has only recently shown criminal tendencies, and none directly relating to the pilfering of change and booze.
Frankly, the fact that Squawk Box has gone so far as to say, "I move to remove all charges from one P. Arty Hayden and transfer them to Daniel Goozehouse Mootzgorilla." Seems a little desperate to get out of the spotlight on his part. This makes me re-question Jabber Jaw.
The fact that only Soy Sauce's change was spared weighs heavily on my mind. And the explination that ZZZ did that just to make it look like Pat did it is like an all-encompassing fool-proof explination that could explain away anything, so I refuse to accept it without further support.
The web of lies is thick and sticky.
(See you guys at 208 on Christmas night!)
UPDATE: P2K admitted to stealing all our change and whisky. Big Ups witnessed this Friday night.
It's true, he did. I then called Mootgorilla, who transcribed the confession onto the Blog-o-dome.
(why are the secret passwords sometime so freaking long?)
This is blashphemy.
I never admitted to anything, because I didn't do anything!
Metzger must have put that change in my pockets and forced me to take it to CoinStar. Then he must have forced all that whiskey down my throat!
It's the only possible solution!
CoinStar?? You idot! They charge you 7cents/dollar! A bank does it for free!..
Unless you turned that change directly into a Starbucks card, in which case the service chage is waved, you criminal mastermind!
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