Insights Concerning Death Row

So the death penalty is in the news lately. I am not so much interested discussing in most of the "important" questions surrounding this topic, but I did notice that Snoop Dogg has something to say about it. Snoop Dogg, along with several other celebrities, has set up a campaign to save a man nammed Tookie Williams. A man who FOUNDED THE CRIPS. I'm not going to get into weather or not this guy deserves a pardon, as I've never even met him, but while perusing Snoop Dogg's website concerning Tookie, I noticed this:

"In 1981 [Tookie Williams] was convicted of murdering four people during two robberies and sentanced to death row at San Quentin State Prison"

Snoop goes on to talk about how the trial was racist and the prosecutor hated black people. Again, I have no knowledge of any of this. But, I do have knowledge that 25 years is a damn long time to be on death row! Why on earth would you keep a man on death row this long? Sure, he had tons of appeals, even in front of the supreme court, and I'm sure there's lots of checking and paperwork involved in these sorts of things, but I mean really. A quarter century? That seems pretty nuts until you see this photo of Tookie when he was a younger man:

wow.

Tookie's right arm weighed as much as me. His afro weighed almost as much. Think about trying to kill this guy. You strap him down, put a needle in his arm, he's just going to flex through those straps, punch through the bullet-proof glass and run off. You need to give him a few decades to get old and weak. But even then he's a mountain of a man, so it's probably best to just let him die of natural causes, right? Wait, unless of course you had someone who could potentially contain this aged-yet-still-monsterous individual...

Bingo.

This is shaping up to be a true battle of the titans, should things come to a head. Unfortunately, the people of California seem to have missed that Schwartzie is looking downright old and fatcatish. See this below:

And while the Tooksmiester is looking pretty calm, you can tell that below that layer of denium is a finely chisled fighting machine. I'm guessing he's still got what it takes to throw some cars around.

My point is this, ladies and gentlemen: the powers that be in California think they have this under control. They've finally gotten themselves a super-powered punching machine to contain this ultra-strong gang leader, but they forgot that Schwartzo's been in office, doing nothing but eating candy and watching that skin that used to be pulled taught over massive muscles sag! If you're in California, and if execution day does come, I'd recommend getting east of the fault line before the Tooksinator rips the state off of the continent and makes it his personal fortress.