The Luckest Squirrel

There once was a squirrel that lived in Madison named Marty. Marty was very small for his age and often got picked on by the other squirrels. Because of this Marty could never got a chance to dig through the good garbage like Ian’s dumpster and all the trash they carried right out the front door at Amy’s Cafe. So he was forces to wait until Wednesdays to for all the houses to put their trash by the side of the road. One day while walking down Bassett Street Marty noticed some mice coming out of 208. Even though these mice were much smaller then Marty they looked they had plenty to eat. Marty went up and talked to the mice.


Marty

“Hello”, Marty said.

“Hi!”, the mice shouted in unison.

“You guys look like you have no problem finding something to eat. How come the bigger squirrels don’t beat you up and take all your food?”

One of the mice looked around and made sure that nobody else could hear him and said, “there are giant holes into this house and the people inside are too afraid to stop us from taking their food! We keep eating all their Gargetos and they keep buying more! You should come in and have some.”

Excitedly Marty followed the mice into 208 and Marty ate more Checks Mix and Gargetos then he ever even imagined. At that time a boy named Dan who lived in the house was very hungry. He went into the kitchen to get some food and Marty got very afraid that he would find them. The mice told him to calm down, because they knew how to handle this. As soon as Dan got near the cupboard one mouse jumped out and ran across the kitchen floor. This scared Dan so much he ran into Pat’s room and hid behind Pat for at least ten minutes. Marty and the mice laughed and laughed and laughed. The mice assured him that he would not be brave enough to come into the kitchen for at least two days. And they were right.

Marty now often got food from 208 often and one day Dan came again into the kitchen while him and the mice were feasting. Again, a mouse ran out and Dan ran away like a little girl and this time dropped something too. It was a little slip of paper. You see Dan didn’t just inherit a fear of small rodents from his family, he also inherited a genetic disposition to gambling and had bought a lottery ticket despite knowing the odds were way way against him. Because you can’t win if you don’t play! Well Marty was the first to pick up the ticket and because he didn’t feel bad about stealing Dan’s food, he didn’t feel bad about stealing his lottery ticket either.

The animals crept into the house to get a look at the TV, which was always on even when nobody was around. At one point, Pat threw CD-Rs and pens at them but didn’t do anything to actually try and stop them. They crept under the orange SNICK couch and watched the TV as the lottery numbers came up.

As the announcer read off the numbers Marty could hardly believe his eyes. Dan had picked all 7 numbers correctly! Marty was going to be a multimillionaire! With this news Marty and the mice at all of Dan’s food that they possibly could and partied late into the night.

The next day Marty cashed in “his” lottery ticket and proceeded to buy out Ian’s and Amy’s Cafe and never let any of the mean squirrels eat any of their garbage ever again. The mean squirrels now had to venture into the residential area’s of the town to find their food. And that is why there are so many damn squirrels digging through the trash in down town Madison.

The End