Doubleheader From the Future

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The first doubleheader was something of a bust. But just on the horizon is a potential doubleheadder that may just save the world.

wham bam

The way I see it, Elizabethtown should be Just Like Heaven, minus fake ghosts, plus delightful banter and Pat crying.

Doom should be Transporter 2 minus me sleeping, plus fucking awesome aliens, big guns, and first-person fighting? Amen.

Movie Posters
Elizabethtown
First off, the name. Big Ups to whoever named the movie for not putting an extra 'e' on the end. That would have been dumb and old-timey. Lots of pictures around the side, as if to say, "There is so much to put in this movie poster that the only way to possibly do it is to make lots of little movie posters, shrink them down, then slap them together into a mega-movie-montage-poster." Also, Orlando Bloom is holding an urn there. From what I've heard, that urn has his dead Dad in it, and boy-howdy is he going to have a self-findingly good time distributing his Dad's ashes across this great country of ours. Kirsten Dunst is there too, working as a flight attendant. Looks an awful lot like love is in the air, and not crappy man - non-ghost love, either. Perhaps there will be a bit where Dad's ashes are blown into someone's face? Oh my, only time will tell.
This movie will hopefully prove to nestle warmly into our hearts as proof that mankind can be good and loving and all that fantasticly delicious stuff. We can only hope that Pat's massive tears that he sheds when Bloom and Dunst run off together do not drown those unfortunate enough to be sitting below him in the theater, thus ruining the film for some of them.

Doom
Oddly, I could not find a movie poster for this movie. Perhaps it is because this is a videogame, and videogames don't release movie posters, they release pictures of the Rock looking so mean I might just commit suicide right now for fear I may run into him someday in a bad mood, and I'm much rather just kill myself now on my own terms than even risk the 1/1000000 possibility that the Rock may get his hands on me when he's mad. Good lord, aliens better get the fucking hell out of this guy's way. This movie is everything I love (and am hated for loving) about movies. Give me a gun that's so stupidly large that there's no WAY it needs to fill as much volume as it does, and some scary-ass aliens to kill with said gun. I mean, just look at this thing:
Does the Rock have his homework in that gun? Yes. Yes he does. His homework is to put several million armor-piercing bullets into an alien's slimy face. My one concern about Doom is they have changed the plot drastically: no monsters comming out of a portal from hell, now they're aliens or people infected by a virus or something. But you know, who really cares? If it's evil, and super-strong, and scary, and the Rock can blast it to pieces with a giant gun, I'm happy. A final note about the size of the gun, there is a gun in Doom called the "BFG", which stands for "Big Fucking Gun". That gun he's got there? Not even the BFG. We do know, however, that the BFG is in the movie. Put that together, and you get the fact that at some point in this movie, the Rock will be shooting a gun even stupidly bigger than this one! Remember Aliens? Great movie. HUGE guns. Jesus, some of the guns were so big the marines wore a massive body harness thing just to hold them.

Pressing Concerns Regarding Doubleheader Numero 2
When on earth will this happen? Check it: Doom doesn't come out until the 21st. I'm staying in Chicago that weekend to celebrate Maria's birthday, the next weekend is the 28th, Halloween in Madison (AKA not the best time to head into town), and then it's November already! So I either have to convice Pat "I wuv Legolas" Smellden to hold off on Elizabethtown until November 4th, or I'll need to visit Madison on Halloween (which may already be too late, as Elizabethtown is already in theaters). I suppose Pat can always see it twice.

All in All
I have high hopes for this doubleheader. I hope it happens. I hope people have to take the next day off of work to recover. Be there or be square.