Life After 208

Book Idea?

2009-10-19T14:22:00.002-05:00

OK family,

I am doing another weird project. I'm "writing" a coffee table/photo book...something along the lines of "my adult life so far" or "a faceless adult life". The idea is looking at photos in another way...and also to showcase my adult life so far (which apparently based on the pictures revolves solely around alcohol).

In any case, here is the slideshow of photos. If you want to be even "less" in the book, let me know--although I've tried to hide most people's identities to an indeterminable degree. I understand everyone wants some sort of privacy, especially if by some weird chance it gets published.

I'd love to know ANY of your thoughts (good and bad)!

An Interesting Phenomenon, Look Close

2009-10-16T00:12:00.002-05:00

Weird Museum in Chicago 1: Polish Roman Catholic Museum

2009-10-08T00:32:00.006-05:00

Since we've all been absent forever, I thought it would be best to some back with something sooooooooooo weird:

I came, I saw, I..........ummmmmmm, left.

Back to the Future, The College Years

2009-05-06T21:33:00.008-05:00

Some [all] of you will probably think what I did is SO weird, but hopefully you'll appreciate it too. I was back in Madison on Monday to give away a scholarship for the real estate program (Dan, sorry I didn't get in touch but I was literally there just for a breakfast and had to come right back). On my way out of town, I passed our old home: 208 S. Bassett. I decided that I should stop quick and see if anyone was home.

[upon approach, dudely evidence]

Someone [a dude] was home and let me in after little hesitation [probably drunk or high]. Come on in stranger!!!!!!!!!! I asked for a tour. He showed me around and thought it was weird that I asked him if I could take pictures, but I didn't care at all. This was worth capturing. The biggest disappointment was that he lived in the Sauna Room and ripped out all the shelving. The biggest awesome part was being able to tell him about the Epic Dan vs Mouse story after he asked if we had mice problems when we lived there [although I think he was looking more for a "yes" or "no"].

[not Ortez, but also a good use of this otherwise useless wall]

Apparently the people that moved in the year before all 5 of these hockey guys lived here painted almost every room in the house. They had reds, blues, greens, pink in the duck bathroom, and the best--neon blue in the tiny bathroom under the stairs. It looked pretty classy actually. Not as classy was the college L-shaped bar they built in the dining room around the built-in china cabinet. There was no Foosball table and a severe lack of additional communal computers.

[your average college guys, with a repaired furnace]

The guy giving me the tour kept putting everything down including the back secret staircase [unarguably one of the cooler parts of the house]. That totally pissed me off. I left out any stories of lazer tag here.

[Dave's old room, apparently shortly after a Charlie Brown Hey Ya Party]

Some things don't change though...check out those bushes...they could still snatch up a small child...

[moped graveyard]

This visit really mad me miss school and the good life. Hopefully the house continues to give joy...or whatever...to many more students in the future [until Dan buys it].

It's Been A While...

2009-03-19T16:08:00.004-05:00

Hey guys, it's me, Pat. I've apparently been too busy doing 55-45 pop n' drops the last year to get anything onto "paper". Ya'll suck anyway. Here's some things that I like lately (subject to bait and switch):

Studying for tests foreva still.
Rock Band
Hating/Loving most things all the time/never
My girlfriend Katie. (Not subject to bait and switch)
Jake and Amir DOT com, nugzzzz
Delta Burke Dinner Club
Spraying spit in people's faces
Thinking about doing another Madison Mash 'Em Up asap--who's with me?

Missin' ya'll crazies.

The Prize

2009-03-09T18:18:00.004-05:00

Spring Break Theamed Original Artwork by Horsebites! He was the artist that did the illistrations on LTJ's latest album "GNV FLA".

This was a Donny Osmond LP sleeve at one point. It looks much better now.

Caps in the news!

2009-03-09T05:11:00.006-05:00

So, Less Than Jake had a Spring Break Costume Contest at a signing before their Orlando show last night. Of course I had to dress up and go over the top. Well, I won! (It didn't hurt that only 6 people dressed up) Check it out!

If you check out their Myspace page, I am their current default photo and I am also in their pic section. This is what they had to say about it:

to answer all your questions before you ask them:

1. yes. it's real.

2. no. we had no idea the poster looked like that. the store made them up so this was a complete coincidence. swear.

3. yes. he got a really awesome prize.

4. no. we don't condone doing this. but think it's unbelieveable. we have the best fans in the world. period.

hope that helps!Come hang out with us on tour. you won't regret it. promise.

<3>

Sad Valentines

2009-02-05T09:32:00.001-06:00

Megan Detrie and co. have put together a compilation of interesting Valentines cards featuring yours truly and soon-to-be-famous-card-writer Dan Metz.
http://500andcounting.blogspot.com/

Favorite Websites?

2009-02-03T10:54:00.002-06:00

As I start to love Google Reader more and more (and I really do...), I'm wondering what other websites I should be looking at that I usually don't take the time to otherwise.

Poll: what are your top 3 favorite websites? Doesn't mean you look at them every day, just that you simply love. I want to add some variety to my life...this is open to all 208er's and anyone else that reads!

My favorites right now:

JakeandAmir.com (my only relief for good YouTube footage these days...)
The Kirk Report (includes a weekly long list of good articles mostly on finance but also politics and other various ponderings; also does a daily Wall Street re-cap)
DailyMile.com (like a facebook for runners)

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

2009-01-15T13:08:00.003-06:00

OK, I don't have any interest in posting about this twice as horrifying and amazing as it was; so, if you want to read about my Jerry Springer experience and/or start following another weird blog:
http://lsrprn.blogspot.com/

Enjoy the show.

Poll for dudes, and some women maybe.

2009-01-07T22:02:00.002-06:00

Which do you prefer?

I'm Back, Maybe, Part 2

2008-12-08T16:49:00.002-06:00

OK. I'm neck deep in my improv class now. I wanted to give everyone a bullet-point list of updates:

We've really only been doing warm-ups and two games. Although not everyone on the team has improv experience, it seems everyone has caught on to warm-ups and therefore we probably don't need to do them for half the session (this is annoying).
The two games we've focused include one where one person at a time enters the stage and the scene changes at each entry until ALL people are on stage; then people leave the stage in the same order backwards and the scenes go backwards in the same order. That probably didn't make sense, but it's fun and challenging. The second game is when several people take the stage and act out a two-minute scene. The SAME scene is then done in one-minute. Then 30 seconds; then 15 seconds; then 5 seconds; then 1 second. This game reminds us to find the truly important parts of the scene.
The weird old guy (see "I'm Back, Maybe Part 1") is truly old and weird, but has come up with some fantastic one-liners including one about a head of lettuce.
I have already fake humped a guy on stage in a lobby on our "honeymoon". As of last week, I've gone to this person's band concert and kissed him on the mouth outside of a bar. He uses organic toothpaste and only rides his bike.My judgment was fully intact, so that's all interesting.
My teacher always wears this blue hoodie with white strings. I love it and want to yank it off his body every week to wear for my very own. Although I've been going around kissing strangers...I haven't quite gotten to stripping them...yet.
On one occasion, we've stopped into The Grafton pub after class which is right next door. I really like this place a lot and hope we keep going. Cheap beer, live music and comfy booths...it doesn't get too much better than that.
We have a "show" next week on December 15th at 7PM at the Old Town School of Music on Lincoln Avenue if anyone is interested. I promise nothing. Nix. I promise to fit in the word 208 somewhere--even though that's not entirely improv.

Yes, and?

Terrible/Awesome Dream

2008-11-20T10:41:00.002-06:00

This morning I woke up remembering a dream/nightmare I had. Everyone (including those who participate in this here blog and my sister) was playing Rock Band all day and night and we were all drunk and having so much fun. Unfortunately I don't remember any specific songs we were performing which would have been awesome and probably made this story better (but alas, we move along...).

The next thing I know, everyone's gone and I'm super old and playing Rock Band all by myself.

This obviously poses the hypothetical what-should-I-do scenario: meet a nice boy and settle down and have kids OR play Rock Band the rest of my life forever.

Maybe we should have a poll.

I'm Back, Maybe

2008-11-05T13:09:00.006-06:00

Lately, and when I say lately, I mean for quite some time, I've felt really out-of-this-world (and not in that early 90's space girl show sort of way). There have been days when I feel like a whole fog is over me...I don't remember things, I don't have any motivation. Maybe the economy's got me down (it has especially hit my job very hard--but at least I still have a job, I guess) or perhaps being "separated" from my best friend, Melissa, for the first time in six years. I don't know.

But, while realizing, at least, that I was in a fog, I've been trying new/different things to keep me "alive" (picture Pat's heart revival dance). This includes various clubs, volunteering opportunities, getting a new roommate, painting, meeting new friends, etc. All of these things have helped, some better than others.

And although all of these things have considerably lifted my spirits or uncleared this fog to some extent, it wasn't until I started an improv class at a local theater (the Old Town School of Folk Music--totally not known for improv at all) that I was really SUPER excited about something. I had my first class this past Monday, which I was actually nervous about because I hadn't performed improv in at least four years! To my delight, I found it easy to get reacquainted with everything (at least so far). It has reminded me to not get dead into work (no matter how much you may like/love it) and do things outside of work that you truly love and/or are good at (or think you're good at). More to come on crazy antics by the old weird guy on the team and much more...!

Also, does anyone else think it's weird that Google doesn't accept some conjunctive words in their spellcheck??

Blogging With A Ghost Contest Part Two!

2008-10-07T20:55:00.008-05:00

Tegan and Sara are coming back to Chicago again! You know what that means! What quote will Pat recite to them? Or rather what will Pat yell at them while he and I are getting escorted away by security after we sneak on to their bus.

Remember there is all new material to choose from!

Just like before $10 to anyone who comes close. I'll even throw in a Obama/Biden bumper sticker. I can write McCain on it with a Sharpe if you prefer. Your entry must be in before the show on Thursday (10/9). Good luck!

Another photo I found to help you guys come up with ideas.

Gettin Krunk and other ponderings

2008-09-15T18:31:00.002-05:00

Recently, there seems to have been a rash of awesome nights out. Here are 5 reasons why we should all go out more:

1. Your cash will be useless over the next however-many years...there are predictions of a massive financial fall-out sooner rather than later potentially as bad as the last Great Depression. Basically, we should spend our money on giant red mugs of beer now, rather than later (when $$ is without value...or when we don't have any anyway).

2. It could lead you to Broadway to become a professional choreographer. This is fantastic because it would mean you'd probably have to be drunk in order to do your job well. Plus, your steps might get into Justin Timberlake's next video. Plus, Plus, that might mean Dan will HAVE to build the lightbulb room.

3. You will become more cultured than you are now. This will occur by experiencing various beers, wines and liquors from around the globe. Knowing your booze, for whatever reason, impresses people. And you don't want to look dumb when you get to Dusseldorf.

4. You probably won't become an alcoholic. Chances are, if you're not already, you probably won't be. And, although I'm advocating more going out, I'm not advocating drinking alone in a sequenced red dress smoking Virgina Slims on a Tuesday night whilst talking to yourself.

5. It brings friends together--whether peeing in an alley or playing cards...these are to be known as "the best days of our lives". So, we should all be spending these days /very late nights together with friends.

Get over it.

Vegas

2008-08-12T12:43:00.002-05:00

Who says what happens in Vegas has to stay in Vegas? While both there for separate reasons Dave and I had the chance to meet up briefly. Here we are in the Flamingo casino.

I just have to say that in the photo Dave looks huge compared to me.

Hope even more fun times and photos will result from the upcoming Chicago trip when we all meet again.

Mash 'Em Up III

2008-07-30T13:09:00.002-05:00

As the summer is nearly winding down...I think we need to evaluate the fact that we did not do a mash'em up of any kind this summer.

I propose we do a Chicago trip or head back to fantastic Madison once again. We can't keep avoiding the fun.

This could go hand-in-hand with the New Glarus weekend that's been brewing, or separate.

Furthermore, I hope this has popped your non-excitement/I'mTooBusy Cherry:

Let's talk availability...

Caps is headed to California!

2008-07-22T22:53:00.002-05:00

Some of my friends decided awhile back that they were going to follow Less Than Jake on part of the west coat leg of their tour. Two days ago I decided I wanted to go with them, so I bought a plane ticket and am headed for California tomorrow (Wednesday). I will join 5 others and we will be in Las Vegas Thursday night (I just found out Dave will be in Vegas, so maybe I will see him on Friday!). Then we are headed to the shows in LA, Anaheim, and San Diego. Interesting photos will be posted at a later date.

Accessing the deepest vault of the dragon's tomb and listening for the void of voices.

2008-05-25T17:29:00.009-05:00

Story deleted due to inaccuracies.

Good news however, I will be in Wisconsin from Aug 14th - 21st. I will be attending a wedding the evening of Friday the 15th, but hopefully we can all meet up sometime after that on the weekend. All I can say is that it better not snow during this visit!

Buying a home...more like buying a headache, but a good headache

2008-05-01T11:52:00.007-05:00

OK. So, after months of searching for a place to live, and praying that I wouldn't end up homeless or have to rent a dumpy studio apartment month-to-month, I finally fond a home to buy!

I am set to close on in May 27th...which is coming up really fast. In the mean time, I've been putting together insurance, loans, inspections and all this other stuff that's boring but necessary.

This post is more of an advice column than anything...what I mean is, unless you're really serious about buying, have a really good team of attorneys and other consultants and know what you want, I do not advise going through this process for fun. If you do decide to buy (like our light-bulb room building friend, Dan Metz), I wish you the best.

Two best things about the place:

1. Exposed brick walls...a unqiue feature I saw in very few units I looked at.

2. It's close to other 208er Pat Hayden (and soon to be close to Dave and Maria when they move in July?!??)

Two worst things about the place:

1. It's a garden unit; I wanted a two bedroom--hard to find in my price range, so I had to make the sacrifice for my first buy

2. I don't have my own parking stall...this is an impossible thing to find in my price range and street parking is easy here, so again, another sacrifice.

Here's some pictures (obviously not my furniture):

Lastly, as I mentioned, I DO have another room that I'll be renting out. If you know anyone looking to move in the next couple months, send them my way--I'll give them a reasonable rent (heat included, 3 blocks from the brown line, and I have a washer/dryer)!

COME VISIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only STD you want

2008-04-17T23:11:00.003-05:00

I just saw one of the best concerts of my life.

Saves the Day is headlining the Bamboozle Road Show, and it made a stop in Orlando. They opened their set by playing their album Stay What You Are in it's entirety. It was amazing and I never even expected it. That album was very influential to me (and I know some of you liked it too), but to see the whole thing played live and to get to sing along was unbelievable.

On a low note however, Armor for Sleep also played, but one of their guitars broke and they couldn't replace it. They only played about 5 songs due to the complications. That band has had moderate success so I find it hard to believe that they didn't have a spare guitar lying around.

For people that love music (and I know you all do)

2008-03-27T17:15:00.003-05:00

You should all check out the new Mellincolin album "Machine 15". It is more pop-punk than I have heard from them in the past, but it is a masterpiece.* The band is from Sweden, so the lyrics don't always match up or make complete sense, but that adds to the charm. It may take you a few listens to really feel it out, but I highly recomend it!

*My opinion from only listening for a few hours. However, it brought me out of a really bad funk that I have been in the last few days.

Sorry, the site where I got it was shut down. myspace them!

Dan's Thinking About It!!

2008-03-26T13:18:00.002-05:00

First of all, Dan, don't worry about glass floors and flying rigs and any other insane demands that Laura makes. She's very much gone crazy. (Though she is right on that you fist-pounding a Jaguar is pretty decisive.)

Your conditions are just fine with me - we'll clear your queue* of all other contents (is this alright with the rest of you 208'ers?), and Joe has already agreed to learn the Candyman dance and recreate the video.(You Tube won't let me embed it, but you can see the video here: Candyman Video. Please notice the fact that the dance is really a very small part of this video, so recreating it will involve lots of other weird crap, I'm sure (which means gaurnteed fun).

With Laura's addition of free ribs, how can you say no???

*Dan's queue items that I can remember:
-Build a Lightbulb Room
-Build an arcade box that plays every game
-Clear all contents of the queue

That's what you were born to do!

2008-03-24T20:07:00.002-05:00

Lightbulb Room Negotiations

2008-03-24T16:40:00.003-05:00

Mootzy, if you make the lightbulb room, no matter how shitty (within the constraints listed below), I will shave my head, buy a white suit, and recreate this music video. Note that Maria will be very upset if I do this - she has specifically told me NOT to shave my head on multiple ocassions, but I will still do it. I will post the video to the internet and everyone will see how great you are. The only constraints are:

1) I must be able to dance inside of it (size-wise). Dancing on knees is fine.

1a) I'd really like it you danced in there with me, too, and maybe other 208ers, so big enough for a couple of people would be ideal, but not necessary.

2) You actually have to make it (you can't just like hang a lightbulb on your wall and call it a day). This requires some sort of structure* to be built.
*This is defined very very loosly. A stiff breeze could blow this thing over and I wouldn't care.

3) The lightbulb room must have at least a ceiling and three walls. Each surface must have at least three lights on it (though, really, a few more lights would make a big difference).

4) At least two different colors of lights

5) You must, by even the most basic of means, be able to flash different lights on and off.

In exchange for you constructing the lightbulb room, I will come to the lightbulb room and bring Pat and Laura (plus do my damndest to get Glen there). I can't gaurntee Caps, but who knows?? I am also ready to offer these incentives:

1) We will have fun

2) I will buy you dinner and drinks

3) I will also make you a t-shirt that explains how great you are for building a lightbulb room.

4) Remember, I'll shave my head and recreate the music video.

5) I know you've basically heard all that before, so here's the real kicker: Joe was supposed to memorize the dance from Christina Aguilera's Candyman video and he never did. If you agree to build the lightbulb room, in addition to the incentives offered above, I will enter into seperate negotiations with Joe to get him to memorize and recreate that dance for us. I promise we will spend entirely too much time and effort on recreating that video as well.

If these terms are not acceptable, please post with what you'd like!!

Favorite New Things...

2008-03-11T10:42:00.003-05:00

Dear Rock Band,

OK, so I have always appreciated video games, but never really took the time to get into them. Pat's generousity of letting us get to know You has made me...well, addicted (if only for a few hours at a time).

From pounding the drums to doing 6-on-1 guitar...you are the game for me. It is a good thing I don't own it, because no one would probably ever see me again unless they were in our living room. Also, Pat, you should be sure to tightly lock all your windows and doors...

Secondly, mixing You and 45/55 Pop Rock Drop Shots is a thrilling, dangerous and fun experience. This is a ridiculous mix of Mountain Dew, Orange Juice, Vodka and Pop Rocks...also chanting is not optional.

Basically, these brief experiences have made me want to be drunk on calcium infused orange juice whilst playing guitar or singing 30 Seconds To Mars. I want to be a Rock Band hero/junkie.

Love,

Laura

PS--Can you do anything about the neighbors?? Sheeeeeeeeeesh.

Jacksonville, the true story...

2008-02-23T19:43:00.028-06:00

So as you all know by now, I ran into a bit of trouble on my way to the northeast part of Florida. Luckily, however, I was able to meet Dan and have a bit of fun. I will spare you the details of my troubles, for they would probably bore you endlessly. Here are a few pictures instead.

Jacksonville was a decent host city for our little rendezvous. We ate a lot of good food and only got stuck in traffic once. Dave will be happy to find that we were able to accomplish pretty much all of his photo scavenger hunt:

1) You two outside of the 2nd tallest building in Jacksonville, the Modis tower

2) *Extreme* excitement over the Jacksonville Jaguars

The first two were taken in Dave and Buster's and the others were outside the Jaguar's football stadium!

3) Pictures of people that look like other 208ers

Now I have to say we did not see anybody that resembled 208ers. However, I went to the Jacksonville Museum of Contemporary Art during Dan's meeting and found all of you (that were not in Jacksonville). You will have to guess who is who and post your ideas in the comments.

Hope you enjoyed the brief recap of our adventure. You should join us next time!

Jacksonville or Bust

2008-02-20T08:56:00.002-06:00

Tonight Dan and James will be meeting in Jacksonville, FL. They are currently looking for evening activities, the only idea now is eating at Dave and Busters. Any suggestions for photo ops you would like the two to try and pull off?

Politics

2008-02-05T11:25:00.000-06:00

I was wondering how many of us voted in the primaries? Are we political people or not political people?

My boss and I talk about politics of our generations a lot...and I make a lot of statements that I THINK are true about us as a generation regarding politics--but I'd love to know what you think, just to make sure I'm not crazy.

Are you Democrat? Republican? Independent? Do you vote? Do you care? Why or why not? If you do care--are there particular issues that you think are most important? Do you think there are issues that are overrated?

Anyone? Non-208's feel free to comment too!

Hey, Remember Stadium Seating.

2007-10-31T09:48:00.000-05:00

One would think that by the time you hit 24 you'd want to eclipse any paltry accomplishments you may have realized when you were only 20, but let's all face facts: we're never going to top stadium seating. Very rarely in history has something so great come to be.

Not only did stadium seating provide a wonderful place for up to three fully grown adult males lay down on couches, it also provided a peaceful and dignified place for mice to go to die. How could you ever top that? What's the point of even trying??

No, wait! We can't let stadium seating cause a mass extinction! Use stadium seating as an impossible goal; like Icarus trying to fly, we can find inspiration in stories of fools who reach too close to stadium seating's glory. It can also be useful as a measuring stick - it gives true meaning to the concept of "deece crotch plus" - that unobtainable step off the top of the deece meter. When you say that a sandwich is deece crotch, stop and think: is it really just one 'plus' away from being as great as stadium seating? Probably not. It's important to have perspective, and stadium seating can give us that.

It may be best if we think of stadium seating as an abstract; as a crazy dream of a place where everything is perfect; where Pat can play Donkey Konga on one couch, while Dan searches for topless girls in plaid skirts only by url on an entirely different couch, yet still have a clear view of the tv. Where Caps can mend the torn crotch of Capsasaurus while Laura drums uncontrollably to the OC theme song without bumping into each other. We may never get back to that place, but we must never forget; nor let it drive us mad. It's a balance - a precarious one - but one that we must achieve should we ever learn to live in the afterglow of what will surely be remembered as the pinnacle of mankind's existence on this planet.

Oh man, and remember that insanely stupid game with the ball on the porch? That was sweet too.

Kettle Moraine Class of 2002 Five Year Reunion: Bust or Blast?!

2007-10-09T12:57:00.000-05:00

So, all of the rest of the 208er's would have had a 5-year high school reunion last year. Mine was this year and remained unplanned by the elected senior class president...so, I took the reigns and put a little effort into having a nice reunion...

This was a terrible idea.

BUT...it still turned out OK.

#1. Pick a time and place...not too hard. I wanted something really casual and non-threatening; so I reserved a pavillion in a well-known park. Also, I purchased a liquor license...because I assumed we are all lushes.

#2. Contact everyone from your class...almost 400 of them. I started with Facebook (thank God for that)--but only found about 25% of the folks...most of whom are nowhere near Delafield, Wisconsin any more. I called the high school and retrieved our old phone directory--so I called everyone's parents who gave me other cell phone numbers or e-mail addresses. This was certainly the most daunting part. Most people did not remember who Laura Knepper was and asked me what my maiden name is...

#3. Cake, Pizza, Nametags (this will be funnier later, if you think about it). This was easy.

#4. Set-up. Should be easy...but there were 16 screaming ten year old boys and all their mommies having a birthday party in the pavillion when we got there. The Town of Delafield double-booked the pavillion! There were pinatas and blow-horns and balloons and bean bags being tossed in every direction...there was nothing we could do but bear it.

#5. People show up. OK, is it a downfall when only 8 of 365 people show up? Especially when you purchased a 50-person cake?

#6. Have fun anyway, because it totally stopped mattering at this point. So, we all drank a bunch of beers, talked about life, and played Apples to Apples.

#7. Unable to read Apples to Apples cards any more due to the Wisconsin country darkness...go to Kettle Moraine High School to the Homecoming Dance.

#8. Get kicked out.

#9. Convince the Town of Delafield to give you a full refund due to their double-book (check).

So, aren't you sad you didn't have a five year reunion?!

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE!!!

2007-10-04T19:38:00.000-05:00

-Because I don't have anything good to write but I really want to stimulate the 208 flow.-

Glen: Glen is still working in Chicago and Living in Wisconsin. The world can't believe it, but he actually seems to enjoy the routine, and makes good use of his time on the train. He recently got engaged, which is totally braggable. In addition, Glen is this closing on a beautiful house just north of the Wisconsin-Illinois border, barely maintaining his cross-state-commuter status.

Pat: One thing the world can believe is that Pat has already gotten sick of his insane neighbor. He's well on his way to constructing his bedroom recording studio, having spent what I estimate to be 2.5 good televisions on recording equipment. I just hope it helps fill the void of not having had Qdoba with Glen and me for WEEKS.

Caps: After recently discovering a magical sword while helping a friend move, Caps is now almost able to access the deepest vault of the dragon's tomb (where he'll find the void of voices, and will finally hear the name of the woman he will marry). Caps was recently promoted to head of Magical Fun at Walt Disney world (which, you can imagine, is a big deal). The vast number of women throwing themselves at him make hearing his true love's name all the more important. James is planning an exciting trip up to Madison to hang out with his totally awesome ex-roommates sometime this winter.

Dave: Easily the tallest of the roommates, Dave has now beaten the solitaire game on his new phone like a bunch of times. He's also now personally writing each copy of the New York Times every day (by hand).

Laura: Laura was really bored last weekend, after attending no parties at all, not even one. This quiet spell won't last for long, though, since Laura belongs to a sort of secret society social club for up and coming big wigs in the city (shhhhhhhhhh). Laura's already working on her Archimedes costume for Halloween this year.

Dan: Nun chuck master Nun Chucks is the fourth most dangerous man in the state of Wisconsin. Dan's biggest worry these days is where his next pizza fix will come from, having sworn off Pizzazs for life after he was tortured with the spinning, searing hot heating dish by the third and second most dangerous men in Wisconsin. There is a 38% chance that Dan has a small bowl of chips in front of him right now.

-Sorry that was so lame.-

By the power of Greyskull!

2007-09-26T17:46:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I helped a friend move. I don't know why, but I always score some really cool stuff when I help someone move. At the beginning of the year, I got a tv/vcr combo, fireworks, and food containers when helping some friends. Yesterday however, I found a sword at the apartment complex dumpsters. You read that correctly, a SWORD! Not a cheap one either, all metal, detailed, and in decent condition. Some google searches on the manufacturer date it to have been made between 1893 and 1926. I can't wait for Antiques Roadshow to make it's way down here.

The sword was in this leather case. My roomate's cat wanted to play.

I was struggling to think of a Halloween costume, but now I think my options have narrowed!

another post about bats

2007-09-19T18:04:00.001-05:00

The bats in Madison may not have been so bad after all. Check this out!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20870285/?GT1=10357

Hope all is well up in the north.

Sword & the Stone, revisited...

2007-08-20T18:19:00.001-05:00

QUIEEEEEEEEEET WOOOOOORRRRRRRT!

Non-Live Madison Blog

2007-06-19T10:53:00.000-05:00

I might say we had the best weekend ever in Madison for the 208 reunion...(although Caps couldn't make it because he lives in Florida and Glen ditched us to schmooze with his parents).

Some highlights:

Dan & Pat arm wrestle, Pat doesn't cheat.

The group gets krunk...

Pat beats Zelda, Dave dies...

We go to Red Robin; Autumn and Rory join us for some fries and a big surprise!!!!!!!!!

We find out Dan is not a Magic Twin, but a good pointer...

What the Frog?!

Dave puts cheese curds and fries on his burger, Laura puts ketchup on its side...

Teagen & Sarah Wii/YouTube video in creation, never made it to fruition...

This is only a brief summary, too much fun was had, too much alcohol consumed, and certainly not enough YouTube watched...but we did get to view Sword & the Stone. It was a great weekend. Hoping more are to come!

A Day in the Life 4 (not as cool as the forth book in the Encyclopedias of America)

2007-06-15T09:26:00.000-05:00

Ok, gang. I'm back in action...it only took me five months to set up a Google account so I can post. As, I'm now caught up on the Life After 208 posts, I thought I would update day in the life...

1. I wake up and imediately hop in the shower without time to take a before picture; but I can assure you I look like Angelina Jolie at my waking moments. This is me just out of the shower, clean and happy. Sorry for the "raw" footage.

2. My bed has never been messed up before EVER; so here is a picture of my always made princess haven:

3. I try to dress up for work usually, but being on construction sites during parts of the day and then meeting financial lenders at other parts makes dressing difficult, but I've taken a liking to wearing dresses whenever possible (I went for Jazz hands instead of a thumbs up or A-OK sign, although my hand is cut off by the doorway):

4. I drive to work; I often listen to peppy music to get me going. My commute is usually under 15 minutes which "rawks". This is my desk at work:

I have quite a few meetings lately cause I've taken over for my boss for the month of June. Some of these meetings tell me to start an e-mail stream w/ the 208 gang. My latest meeting was really exciting--I showed one of our warehouse properties to the producers of the BRAVO reality TV show Top Chef...they seemed interested in leasing for the filming of the next season there!

5. The office is now packed as we've hired two more people recently, but I'm in the office alone a lot too:

6. The view from our office is an expansive park, no, terrace, no, skyline of awesome architecture, no...a tree-lined street in the hip Bucktown neighborhood. People are always going through the stop sign :

7. Because I don't work downtown or next to a Q'Doba, I sadly usually don't get to "do lunch" with friends, so I make a sandwich and have some fruit for a snack (all the while reading uppety magazines about "green" construction materials like carpet):

8. After lunch sometimes I drop by our projects to see how things are going; Chantico Lofts is almost done and we just won an award for it; The Maduro is SOOO not done and has such a long way to go that I'll probably grow a gray beard before it's completed:

http://www.chanticolofts.com/
http://www.themaduro.com/
http://www.1250paulina.com/

...if you have too much time on your hands....

9. After work I may go to some social event or Volleyball; on Sundays, a Red Robin trip is the best bet. If nothing's going on, I take a jog to the "beach" and then read lots of magazines about what's going on in Chicago (although I never get around to doing these things, they all sound exciting--PS, Pat...there is a train show at the Botanical Gardens for the next couple weeks). Then Melissa and I do Hi/Lo for about ten minutes and we go to bed (because she wakes up at 5:30 and I have nothing better to do):

10. Although this is an old picture, my weekend's usually end up looking like this if I'm not out of town (but I'm trying really hard to live a new healthy lifestyle these days):

11. I was hoping this post would be interesting and funny. I think it is neither of the two, although perhaps enlightening. At this point, I think:

a. Glen and Pat need to post their days

b. We all vote on best and worst

Thaaaaaaaaaaat's all. [insert bozo the clown parade]

TURTLE POWER!

2007-05-10T16:44:00.000-05:00

My parents recently visited, and we made a trip to Busch Gardens! Enjoy these photos.

Swimming turtle

These turtles must be going through an identity crisis.

They are playing leapfrog!

Return of the yellow shirt! This statue was really hot from sitting in the sun all day, so I was glad those shorts weren’t made of nylon.

I did some follow up with my fellow keepers on your inquiries about riding tortoises. A Galapagos Tortoise could definitely carry a person on it’s back. Some of the larger ones could probably carry three or four people (seating would probably be the only problem). Our male was getting blood drawn once, and two male keepers couldn’t hold a back leg extended (on their behalf, there really are no good hand holds on a tortoise’s leg).

The Conjoined

2007-04-21T20:16:00.000-05:00

Howdy y'all,
I guess I have been spending too much time in the south with an opening like that.
I just wanted to inform all of you to a side project that I am working on. My brother, num, wanted to start a blog, so he did. He somehow suckered me into contributing to it as well. The blog is titled "The Conjoined," and I have added a convenient link onto the sidebar. Read if you want, don't if you don't. However, num will cry if you don't.

Goofin Around

2007-03-09T10:36:00.000-06:00

Steven and I were hanging out the other day and we took some photos. I thought you guys may enjoy seeing us having SUCH A GOOD TIME!

We also produced this great short film entitles "Seven Tells Dave a Secret" (click on the picture to watch it).

A Day in the Life 3 (not as cool as D3)

2007-02-21T20:55:00.000-06:00

While my day is not nearly as interesting as that of Caps or Dan, I'm going to throw my hat into the ring and let you all know just how thrilling it is to be me: suprise write-in candidate Dave Ryan!

My day also starts when I get out of my bed - my bed is decidedly not as cool as Dan or Caps', but a girl (not pictured) does sleep with me in it, so it's got that going for it.

Before I shower, I usually look very sad. So sad I can barely lift my phone to take my daily picture of myself.

After cleaning up, I opt for the a-ok sign (as opposed to the thumbs up, which is favored by zoo keepers). This gets me psyched up, and reminds me that things are a'ight.

After an hour or so on the train, I arrive at work. These are my monitors, and on the left one you can see this blog on Dan's computer on the blog on Caps' computer on the blog on your computer, which is showing this blog right now! Woah! Also, while you're looking at things, note my very impressive and complicated graphs. Also notice the small white things behind my keyboard - those are zombies. They are always lurching towards me very slowly, threatening to eat my brain if I ever fall asleep on my desk.

Alright, this is getting a little boring. Time for an ACTION SHOT! Sometimes in the afternoon I go downstairs and buy a soda. Then when I come back up I jab aggressively at the button for the 30th floor like so!

You may remember that elevator from the time it tried to eat me. What? You've never seen the video of that event? Well, then it's time for an ACTION VIDEO!

Probably the neatest part of my office is the view. This is the bean, as seen from my window.

This is the Art Museum, as seen from the window by the elevator (remember the elevator?). I think I've posted these views before, but whatever.

After work, it's time for another hour or so on the train. That's really boring, so it's time for another ACTION SHOT! This is a green line train hurtling into the station to pick up some people! Stand back!!

After all that excitment, I return home to hang out with Maria. Here we are wondering how you got so tiny and into our house (I suppose it's easier to sneak in when you're so small).

We do most of our hanging out in our lovely den. Here it is. Notice the guy's butt on the TV and the box of food on the table. What you cannot see in this photo is that the floor may or may not be vibrating thanks to our neighbor's television.

That's about it! I hope you enjoyed it. The torch is hereby passed to some other 208'er. Also, the great 208 reunion is about to happen in just two days! Everyone with their picture up on top except for Glen will be reuniting for a weekend in Madison. Look forward to some possible group blogging.

A Most Egregious Evil Genius Move

2007-02-20T10:50:00.000-06:00

This morning, at 6:22am, my phone started making a noise I had never heard before. It was beeping and bopping and generally making me suddenly awake and confused. It stopped, however, and I went back to sleep. At 7 am, I woke up and checked what the heck all the racket was about. It turns out that someone sent me a picture message. Now, I've never received a picture message before, and thus I never setup my phone to automatically download and display pictures.

Thank GOD. Thank the stars and the heavens and the galaxies and the forests that I never setup my phone to automatically download and display pictures messages.

The message gave me a url I could visit to display the picture, which is free, so I decided to do that to find out what it was. I showered, dressed, woke up, and went online to find that FORMER ROOMMATE AND CURRENT EVIL GENIUS CAPS LOCKE had sent me a picture. What picture was it, you ask? Why, only the picture which once pierced directly into my fragile soul and ripped it a sunder, ruining me for weeks and killing a piece of me that I live without to this day.

Caps sent me the face.

If you don't know what face I'm talking about, you weren't around when we all gathered about the TV in our brand new house that fateful night three years ago in Madison and watched The Ring. I've never before, nor since, actually screamed in horror at a movie, and I have to say that the face is still pretty damn disturbing even when it's static, low-quality and small. Even in the brightly lit comfort of my kitchen I almost threw up and I had to hide under the desk for a few minutes before I could come out.

Had I seen that picture at 7am, two seconds after turning off my alarm, I may have suffered five concurrent heart attacks and died right there. I can't even image what that would have done to me. Seriously. I'm pretty sure at the very least my phone would be smashed, lying in pieces on my bedroom floor right now had I seen it.

Bravo, Caps; you've won this round. But you watch out, because who knows what devious devices I've come up with to horrify you with. (I do - none. Rats.)

A Day in the Life 2 (not as cool as the Transporter 2)

2007-02-01T18:11:00.000-06:00

The request was made for me to prepare a similar "A Day in the Life" post, so here it is. Please note that I am limited as to what I can take/post pictures of while at work. I can only show you things a normal guest can see.

All right, my day starts off with me waking up. My bed is obviously not as awesome as Dan's (who's is?)

This is what I look like when I wake up (I put on a shirt and some pants since this is generally a family-friendly blog).

This is what I look like after I get ready.

I go out to my car. I wouldn't have included this, but we have been having a cold spell in Florida. Notice the frost on the top of my car!

I drive about 15 minutes to work where I enter "backstage" to the park. I get to go through these high security gates that were put in after 9-11.

My coworkers and I meet in our office and then head out to conquer the day. We work with the animals located around the Tree of Life, so we are in the park, faced with guests all day long. There are usually 4-6 people working and we each are responsible for different groups of animals. This week I am working with the lemurs (3, two collared lemurs and one ring-tiled lemur), cotton-top tamarins (3), white storks (2), and abdim storks (2).

Me carrying some animal diets, with the Tree of Life

The day starts by checking on all my animals to see that they are all still alive, ok, etc.

I go out into the tamarin exhibit to collect fecal samples from them, feed them, give them new water, and check to make sure their nest box is at an appropriate temperature/still working. They are fed four times throughout the day.

Next I tend to the lemurs. They are usually locked into the lemur building at night so that we know they are safe and secure. If they are locked inside, I will go out into their exhibit and collect the prior day's enrichment, put out new enrichment, food, and clean up any poop the wild ducks didn't eat (yes you read that correctly; we affectionately call them Hoover, Bissell, Dyson, Oryk, etc). I will also collect anything guests may have dropped into the moat that surrounds the lemur exhibit. The most common things I find are coins, chewed gum, and batteries.

Lemur holding

Ring-tailed lemur on exhibit

When the outdoor lemur exhibit is clean and ready, I let the lemurs out and clean their indoor holding. This entails lots of hosing, scrubbing, and me spraying myself with the hose.

My team meets together again mid-morning to discuss how the day is going and to bring up any questions or issues of concern.

The animals are fed again and then we usually take lunch.

After lunch we feed the animals again and prepare for the animals to come in for the evening. For the lemurs, this involves preparing their evening meal, putting fun things to play with in their night holding, and getting bedding and water set out for them.

When it is time for the animals to come it, usually about an hour before sundown, I set the lemur's food around their indoor holding and let them in. Usually they are hungry so the come in right away, but sometimes this takes awhile or they don't come in at all.

At the end of the day I feed the storks. They eat a variety of meats: fish, ground horse-meat, and baby mice. This can be a daunting task due to the wildlife. There are only 4 storks being fed, but on any day anywhere from 20-40 wild birds will show up wanting to be fed. Lately we have been feeding at different times during the day to prevent this, but it doesn't always fix the situation. Why don't we do something about the wild birds you ask? Well for one thing it is against federal law to touch them, so we have to make due with better aim while throwing the food.

One white stork, 5 wild birds (Ibis)

After my animals are secure for the night, I head toward my team's main animal holding area to see if anybody needs help with their animals or anything else. Then it is time to leave.

Tree of Life main holding

When I get home I take a shower, check e-mail, and cook some dinner. Usually dinner will be pizza, hot dogs, or soup.

In this picture you can see LA208 on a computer, on a computer, on your computer!

I prepare my lunch for the next day in the evening so I can hit the snooze button an extra time the next morning.

My day usually ends with me watching TV, watching a movie, or reading a book. I go to sleepby 10, so I can start it all again the next day.!

Sunday I start working with axis deer, kangaroos, lappet-faced vultures, and Galapagos tortoises!

In other news, in the next 9 days I should be going to 6 different Less Than Jake shows! They are playing smaller venues and a different album, all the way through, each night. I am really excited.

A Day In The Life

2007-01-26T22:04:00.000-06:00

Well I was recently speaking with Megan the other day and she had asked me to take a camera around with me and document my day. She was clearly homesick and not thinking straight so I tried to explain to how unbelievably boring that would be. I'm a programmer. Well I could not convince her that it would be a bad idea. So here you go Megan. A day in my life.

[ Note: While I write this The Transporter 2 is on HBO. Dear God - Pat was right and Dave was wrong. The fire hose scene is brilliant. ]

Oh - one other thing. I don't own a digital camera. These were all taken with my cell phone. So sorry if they look terrible because they do. But really it doesn't matter - it's not like my job needs high quality film to capture it. I'm not a transporter.

Alright, my day starts off with me waking up and having to leave my awesome bed.

Then I go and take a shower and get dressed.

This is what I look like when I wake up:

This is what I look like after:

Pretty much the same except my hair is combed and I'm less pissed off. After that I go back to my room and am able to see my car from my bedroom window.

Because of this I decided to put a remote starter my car. It's probably the greatest thing I've ever put into my car. And that includes me. I drive about 20 minutes to work and get to my office.

And this is what I see while at my desk.

Typically I don't have any meetings, but that isn't always true.

But don't let this picture fool you. If I remember correctly the third meeting never happened. The second one is held in a movie theater and we get to eat popcorn and I try not to sleep. Oh and the last one was for ice skating. Ideally though there I won't have any meetings.

Typically I come in and check my email and a few other websites.

[ WARNING!!
Now we all know it is impossible to print a blog. But I think that now that there is a picture of our blog on our blog the universe might implode on itself if someone tries to print it. Did that just BLOW YOUR MIND? ]

The rest of my day pretty much looks like this.

Me having tea and compiling the new code I just downloaded.

Me checking email and listing to my iPod.

An action shot of my iPod in action.

Me eating, programming, and listing to my iPod.
Also know as multitasking.

After work I go to the shell if I have time or hang out with friends.

Then I go home and make some popcorn.

My kitchen. We finally got pots and pans after not having them for about six months.

Here is the fooseball and piano room.

And this is where I watch TV.

It's probably good to get this all on film. Because the space heater sitting on the cardboard box should burn down the apartment any day and this will help prove that I own a foosball table.

And finally bed.

And thus my day ends like it began. With me sleeping. I believe this is called a story arc. But I really don't know if that is right, I tried not to read in collage if possible. I did programmed a lot. So we'll call this a loop instead.

while (!Dan.dead)
{
day(Dan);
}

That is more or less my day I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have.

While I was pulling these pictures off my camera I found these:

Megan. The inspiration behind this post. She is probably drunk here.

Impossible?!?!?!?

DOGS!!

Speaking of animals. If anyone who works with animals wants to post a day in their life I'm sure it would be much more interesting them mine. Actually I would love to see any of the 208ers' days.

[ Note: The transporter 2 is on again! This time I got to see him catch the bus with a jet ski. Brilliant. ]

Mirror of the Stars!!

2007-01-16T10:26:00.000-06:00

I can not f'n believe this. Either Pat has been sneaking around behind his business partner's backs or someone else actually had the same idea. The Mirror of the Stars is actually being produced. I'm speechless.

Wireless Network Antenna

2007-01-16T09:34:00.000-06:00

Long live the Life After 208 revival!

A question for Dan and Joe this time:
I've got this terrible wireless network at home that's annoying as h due to a mysterious forcefield in my bathroom that won't allow wireless signals to pass through. Because of that I'm using a repeater station to bounce a signal around the bathroom to Maria's computer. That little signal repeater has thwarted every attempt I've made to secure my network via password, so I've locked it down through MAC address and limiting the number of IPs the DHCP server will give out. That works fine most of the time, but when I want to use another device for a while, or a friend brings over a laptop or whatever, I have to go change settings on my router to serve up an IP. So I'd like to just lock things down with a password and get rid of that headache.

What I think would really fix this is some sort of antenna extension for Maria's wireless card (it's a PCI card with the screw-in antenna sticking out the back). If I could just get a cable that would let me mount the cable around the corner so it had a clear path to the wireless router I think we'd be set. Can I get some sort of cable that'll connect the antenna to the PCI card, allowing me to mount it remotely?

DVRs

2007-01-15T23:17:00.000-06:00

Okay, I could probably just send out an email to Dave and Joe, but I decided to post again. If anyone out there has or is thinking about a DVR keep reading.

First let me say I love my ReplayTV. It has served me for over three years now, but lately I've been getting annoyed a few things and have been considering getting a new TiVO system.

1. It only has one tuner. This has seemed to be more annoying lately. There is often at least two things I want to tape at the same time.

2. I would love to be able to watch Divx and AVIs and what ever else I downloaded with out connecting my laptop.

3. I don't have an HD TV yet, but I figure in the next few years I will end up getting one. So it would make sense to get a DVR that does HD, or will be able to do HD with some sort of upgrade.

4. Even in standard def, I would like to record in higher quality (this means more storage space).

5. Commercial Advance. I've grown way to use to that to give it up.

6. Not paying a monthly service fee would be nice too.

Now given that, here are my options:

1. Get another ReplayTV off of Ebay for around $100. This would be trivial to install and could stream to my Replay with out any setup. Plus I could record in High Quality with the extra storage room. Also I just found out that the monthly service fee for your second ReplayTV is half off, about $7 a month. Cons, no HD, no streaming random file from my computer.

2. Charter's DVR service. This does not excite me at all, but it might not be a terrible option.

3. Windows Media Center. Joe - is this any good? Anyone else doing this? Does this have Comercial Advance? HD? How much is this anyways? Is there a monthly fee? I should do more research on this.

4. MythTV. Now I've tried Linux a few times before with very little success. Now I'm a nerd, but this OS is just a pain in the ass. But still I like the idea of having a server somewhere with 3 TV Tuners streaming to my TV via something like this MediaMVP. It is supposed to be super hackable with MythTV front ends already out there. However, I'm not sure about this either - I have fears that I'll buy a ton of hardware and never get it working right. But I like the idea of open source meaning no one is taking my commercial advance away and all the little things that could be very useful.

Well that's it. I'll probably just get really lazy and not do anything or just get another Replay for now. But if anyone has any recommendations let me know.

Hmm, After looking this over I'm pretty sure this post belongs on Dave's blog.

check this out

2007-01-13T18:01:00.000-06:00

A guy at work showed this to me today. You will probably get addicted, he was.
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/linerider

Don't ever see the movie Rest Stop

2007-01-11T20:42:00.000-06:00

Well, well, well, I guess it is time to post something here. How about I start with some random photos from the past:

Now, how about some really exciting news!

CAPS WILL BE IN WISCONSIN FEBRUARY 21st-MARCH 1ST !!!!
(roaring applause, cheers from all around, articles of clothing flying through the air?)

Yes it is true, I will be home for a short while, and I see that it just so happens to fall over a certain actuary's birthday. Craziness will definitely ensue if the world doesn't implode from the sheer awesomeness of the occasion.

An Open Letter to Dan Metz

2006-11-07T09:58:00.000-06:00

I just received an email from gamestop.com telling me that online Wii preorders will begin on Thursday. They didn't give an exact time, just said it would be Thursday evening. It's a $700 bundle with some unspecified games and accessories (I'd guess three controllers, three games, a couple of those retro controllers, maybe some virtual console points).

At this point, I think I'm going to just hold off and try to walk in and grab one on Sunday. We should ask my local Best Buy when they're opening, as according to various Wii inventory trackers they're already slated to receive 98 units (the Target next door is getting like 30 too). Compared to the dozen-or-so Xbox 360s these places got I expect the Wii's will be so plentiful that they will begin to act as a liquid and people will actually drown in them.

Besides, if we get up early, go to Best Buy and discover they're sold out, then we can come home and drown our sorrow in Guitar Hero 2 and McDonald's breakfast sandwiches.

The coolest thing that's ever happened to me

2006-10-27T12:29:00.000-05:00

Melissa and I went out to Diaggastino's last night to celebrate her first sale at her new job. We ordered a big ol' Chicago style cheese pizza (already knowing we'd have leftovers).

After a 30 minute wait (typical time to wait for all that gooey cheese and crust to get good n' done) the waitress brought out out pizza and told us the crust was burned and that she just ordered the cooks to put in another one. (Note: this first pizza was TOTALLY edible and not burnt but more of what a person who likes a "more done" pizza would eat in a second, so we chowed down).

Not too much later did the waitress bring out our second, less done, pizza (looking nearly identical and sitting right next to our other pizza). We chowed down on that too...

::insert people looking at us funny because two girls have an entire table full of enough pizza for a little league team::

We ate and ate until we could eat no more...and we still have 10 pieces of Chicago style pizza at home (i.e. 5 more meals worth of pizza) in the fridge!!

The greatest part about all of this, is of course, that we only paid for one giant Chicago style pizza and we got two giant Chicago style pizzas! So we will be happy, full, and not broke for quite some time.

It was the greatest part of any day I've ever had...at least of the week...

More to come: why do restaruants here only give one free refill (or no refills depending where you go)?!?!

big ups from the deep deep south

2006-10-10T20:25:00.000-05:00

Nice post Pat! I did not have the flu over my weekend, but I did catch a few flicks. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Red Eye, and Napoleon Dynamite to name a few. I was extremely disappointed with Red Eye. I recall the advertisements for this movie promoting a type of supernatural thriller, but there was nothing involving the supernatural in it.

I am an officially licensed open water SCUBA diver! My dive partner and I passed the written test with flying colors and the test dives were a breeze. Here are some photos from a dive we did at Typhoon Lagoon!

Tiger SharksGiJoe never looked this cool

I started my new job last week. For about the next month I will be working/training with Asian small-clawed otters, lesser flamingos, white-faced whistling ducks, and various species of fish. After that I will be moving to deer, kangaroos, Galapagos tortoises, storks, parrots, cranes, lemurs, and cotton-top tamarins. So far I am really enjoying it and my new coworkers seem really cool. Here are a few pics of my current animals.

one of three otters

some of the twenty flamingo

a really pretty fish

Tis the season when a familiar terrible lizard may be making appearances. Keep your eyes peeled.

My Weekend Flu By!

2006-10-09T11:12:00.000-05:00

This weekend I was sick, and I don't mean like an awesome snowboarding move. I had a bad case of the old flu. At several points I tried doing catching up on some work and some studying, but it was difficult to do that while I was dizzily coughing up bloody phlegm. So instead I reverted to laying on my couch and watching movies all weekend. It was awesome.

What astounded me is the fact that while I can go see ten movies in the theater and walk away liking three of them (if I'm lucky), I can turn on TBS or ABC Family on a Sunday afternoon, and I'm content with anything. No, seriously, look at the crap that I watched.

Flight of the Navator - This was the first of many childhood favorites that I watched. I would say this is probably the third best time travel movie of all time (behind items 2 and 3 in this list). The only 1986 movie that gets me more excited than Flight of the Navigator is Short Circuit. The scene where Sarah Jessica Parker walks in to David's future room and explains all the differences between 1978 and 1985 brought me back to the days of eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches as I watched our Betamax copy of this movie that we recorded from one of those free HBO trials.

Back to the Future Part I - Man, this movie never fails to knock my socks off. Despite the fact that this movie has at least a dozen plotholes (my favorite is the idea that if the three children had never been born, then the photograph wouldn't have existed because no one would take a picture of such a boring backdrop), it's perfect.

Back to the Future Part II - Again, pure sock-knocker. Here's my main problem with this one. They leave Jennifer on her porch in the future v2.0, and then they go back to the past in order to prevent future v2.0 from occurring. But they leave Jennifer in future v2.0! If they fix the future, wouldn't it be impossible to get Jennifer back, since they would be travelling from v1.0 to the future (which would then be v1.0)? It makes no sense! If someone could resolve this for me I'd be very appreciative. Nonetheless, fantastic movie. "McFly, you bojo! Hoverboards don't work on water. Unless you've got power!"

The Island - [(1984 + The Matrix)/2] ^ Michael Bay + Pseudo-political commentary. That's a formula for success. Well, maybe not, since I seem to recall this movie bombing, but I enjoyed it anyway. Wait...maybe I hated it. Hard to tell with this one.

The Sandlot - Another childhood classic. I remember watching this movie twice in as many weeks back in high school and thinking about how sick of it I was. After a five-year break, I was ready for an intense reconnection, and I was rewarded with a nostalgia-fest, both about watching the movie and about spending summers playing baseball and goofing around all day every day. It also made me nostalgic for that one summer that Dave forced a life guard to make out with him by faking that he couldn't breathe. Classic.

The Sandlot 2 - One of the few movies on the list that I had never seen before, and probably the only movie on the list that I would never, ever watch again. Absolutely atrocious. It manages to retell the exact same story as the first, incorporate all the moments from the first movie that makes it so loveable, add a "love" story (!), and still be so awful. The problems that plague this movie and make it intolerable are the lack of any sort of originality, the terrible acting, and the lack of Dennis Leary. Oh my God. It's awful.

Kicking & Screaming - After The Sandlot 2 killed my faith in children's sports movies, Kicking & Screaming made me believe again. Man, that Will Ferrel sure is funny. I always think that I don't really like him, but he makes me laugh time after time. Again, some horrible child acting (including a frightening, adolescent Bean from Evens Stevens), but this movie was still a lot of fun. Also the Will Ferrel/Robert Duvall/Mike Ditka relationship was enjoyable.

A Lot Like Love - If I didn't lose your respect with my glowing review of Kicking & Screaming, I am sure to lose it with this. I liked this movie. Keep in mind two things: first, I'm a sucker for Romantic Comedies, and second, I liked Wicker Park. So it shouldn't be too shocking that I ate this movie up (while I ate up some Rice Chex, in fact!). Take a look at everything this movie has to offer:

Ashton Kutcher singing and playing guitar (not really a positive thing, but still noteworthy)

Jeremy Sisto playing a music snob (this is where I was sold, I think)

Kumar

Amanda Peet's ass (sideshot, but still)

A romantic comedy about that spans 6 years of "first" dates. Genius!

So call me ridiculous, but I liked it. You'll have to forgive me. I wasn't feeling well.

Defending Your Life - Speaking of ridiculous romantic comedies, here comes another classic. I remember loving this movie when I was 10. Even then I was intrigued by both romantic comedies and plots involving the death, afterlife, and (non-scary) ghosts. Man, did I have it right when I was 10. This movie is tops. And to think, I almost skipped this movie to watch Little Monsters with Fred Savage. Had it been Fred Savage's The Wizard I would have missed out on this movie completely.

So there ya have it. That's my weekend in a nutshell. The stars aligned themselves perfectly to allow me the freedom to sit around and watch movies all day while also managing to give one heckuva lineup. Seriously. Flight of the Navigator? Defending Your Life? When's the last time anyone's seen either of these two movies on tv? Sure I was unable to eat solid food for half the weekend, but I got all the nourishment I needed from these wonderful films.

I AM WEARING NEW SHOES! BEWARE!!

2006-09-29T13:43:00.000-05:00

BEHOLD, YE UNWORTHY MORTALS! I have purchased new shoes, and they are upon my feet at this very moment! Marvel at the fact that, despite being the same brand (Adidas) and the same size (13) as my old shoes, THESE shoes feel too small for me, and careful inspection reveals they are, in fact, SIGNIFICANTLY SMALLER! PHYSICALLY!!

How is this possible, you ask? DO NOT MEDDLE IN AFFAIRS ABOVE YOUR CAPABILITIES, I reply! Stay down below in your comfortable existence of hair spray and "I think I have a cavity" - leave the higher-minded affairs to those of us with POWERS OF THE GODS!

These NEW SHOES are brown, no longer green, and have off-white laces! They carry three stripes, also off white, YET NOT MADE OF LACE! Hold tight to your brain and its contents as I describe the tan accents and darker-brown-almost-black-yet-still-brown bottoms or SOLES of the shoes! DID I STARTLE YOU? I HOPE NOT SO, FOR YOU WERE WARNED!!!

Cloudgate, beans, and globes

2006-09-25T19:48:00.000-05:00

Everyone loves the bean. Check out this amazing people-to-sculpture interaction including my parents and the bean. Only cloudgate could encurage such unstaged excitement and curiousity.

Also--the artist of the bean is creating a "globe" of similar materials and identity as the bean in New York City. ::New York City?!::

HoooooRa!

2006-09-13T19:02:00.000-05:00

Disney has a new face in its arsenal of lovable characters. After working for the company for 16 months, I have been offered a full time zookeeper position at the Animal Kingdom. I do not know which animals I will be working with yet, but it will be with a variety of different species. I do not have a specific starting date yet either, since I am still filling in on the primate team. The managers from each of the teams are going to compete for me American Gladiator style; at least I think that is what a memo was saying.

Anyway, this new opportunity means that I will be moving down here, which is good and bad news. Bad news because I will continue to be away from all of you, but good because you will know someone who's couch you can crash on in the Orlando area. Also, I will have to make a trip up to Wisconsin sooner or later to get more of my stuff. So you may actually get to see me and not have to live vicariously through my paint-doctored-photos or facebook profile.

Though I will still miss you all, I have to continue writing this chapter of my life. Besides, working for Disney has its benefits...

"The Internet is the street corner of the 21st Century"

2006-09-13T12:50:00.000-05:00

No pictures were posted w/ this article (darn...)

Prostitutes use Web as new `street corner'
More work in suburbs, with cheaper motels, thin police resources
By Brendan McCarthyTribune staff reporter
Published September 13, 2006

Dressed in a revealing halter-top, the 28-year-old woman sits in handcuffs on a motel-room bed in Des Plaines. Nearby, undercover police officers examine her modern-day tool of the trade: an Apple iBook."Show us your Web site," demands Cmdr. Matt Hicks. "We know you are on there."Such encounters underscore the new public face of an old profession. Instead of flashing their skin on a street corner, women can work from a motel, armed with a cellphone and a laptop computer.Traditionally, prostitutes who billed themselves as escorts advertised in alternative weeklies, entertainment-oriented magazines and other publications. Now a simple Web site can be launched for less than the price of a print ad, authorities say."The Internet is the street corner of the 21st Century," said Sgt. Gary Darrow, head of special investigations for the Schaumburg Police Department. "It's easy, it's anonymous and it's free."As a result, police throughout the suburbs say the Web is fueling a prostitution business that is both difficult to detect and hard to enforce. Prostitutes can easily be found online in cities such as Naperville, North Chicago, Joliet, Evanston, Schaumburg and South Holland.Across the country, police are focusing on the Internet. In Pennsylvania, 12 women were recently charged with prostitution after an investigation into advertisements they posted online. Similar stings have been conducted in San Francisco, Baltimore, Oklahoma City and elsewhere.And yet locally, at least, prostitution arrests are few and far between. The time and effort it takes to execute a successful bust, combined with the limited resources of many suburban departments, have long kept prostitution low on the list of priorities, some suburban police officials admit.Police in Des Plaines, for example, handled more than 150 reports about prostitution in 2005 but made only three arrests, according to Hicks, who said that unless investigators conduct an undercover sting, it's difficult to gather enough evidence to press charges.Prostitution is a Class A misdemeanor, so the end often doesn't justify the means, police say."To get a felony [charge], you'll have to go get her again" through a repeat offense, said Elgin Police Sgt. Jeff Adam. "That means you are essentially burning an undercover officer and an undercover car. Sure, a prostitution bust is exciting [but] ... it's not always worth the effort."Many prostitutes flock to motels in Des Plaines and other northwest suburbs because of the proximity to O'Hare International Airport and major expressways, police said. Compared with Chicago, the suburbs offer less-expensive motel rooms--and smaller police departments.It's impossible, authorities say, to calculate how many prostitutes are working in the area, but they estimate there are hundreds.Records show they are both local and from out-of-state--with driver's licenses listing residences in Texas, Las Vegas, Virginia, New York, Minnesota and Michigan, among other places.Several members of the Cook County sheriff's vice unit are assigned to prostitution cases, with officers regularly scanning the Internet, spokeswoman Penny Mateck said.Arrest records from several northwest suburban police departments show that nearly all of the alleged prostitutes advertised on the Internet. And with some exceptions, most worked out of modest motels.Robyn Few, founder of the San Francisco-based Sex Workers Outreach Project, said suburban prostitution rings are run in ways similar to any small independent business."The Internet gave women and men a tool to become their own boss," she said. "I look at prostitutes as entrepreneurs. People go into business for themselves."Many prostitutes tour the country, staying in a motel in or near a city for one to two weeks at a time, Few said. Others work out of their homes or for regional sex services that use computers to advertise, land clients and make appointments."They have elaborate screening systems where they can virtually keep police out," Few said. "You need references, a number. The smart girls aren't getting busted."

Coincidence??

2006-09-04T22:53:00.000-05:00

Dave is telling Pat how awesome it is that the highly acclaimed HBO hit show Six Feet Under is airing on cable television under the Bravo network--number one becuase it's so expensive to buy or even rent the DVDs and number two because it will probably be proceeded by repeats of Project Runway. Pat is rolling his eyes because the ridiculous amounts of commercials Bravo plays will wreck Six Feet Under's capability of sharp characterization, unbelievable plot lines, and wonderous appearing disappearing ghost acts that are truly genious uninterrupted. The gin is good.

Here Pat reminded Dave that he did some "calculating" the other day only to figure out that Dave will die in ten days because he refused to take a Saddle shot. Note the beer downgrade.

Another year older...

2006-08-31T21:49:00.000-05:00

Thanks for the warm birthday wishes. It is a great feeling to know that people are thinking of me even though I am on the other side of the country. A monster burger would have really hit the spot today, but that will have to hold off for a while for I don't know when I will be venturing back you Madisonian and FIBs (no offense, I don't know what else to call you). It is hard to believe that I have been gone for +14 months. I miss you all very much and can't wait for our eventual reunion; that will surely be one for the record books.

I had a rather uneventful day today, but that is a good thing. The gorillas are doing fine, except for the occasional superficial scratch or minor case of crotch-rot (neither of which are my fault). We got a bit of rain since Ernesto decided to crash my party, but nothing major happened. He turned out to be a glorified and way over-hyped thunderstorm to the Orlando area. Dan, I am starting to work on that gorilla picture with the birthday hats, it is going to be awesome, but belated a couple weeks for my birthday.

Laura, the picture you added to the post dedicated to me is quite fitting; for this week I started SCUBA lessons! Some zoos want keepers that are scuba certified, so since Disney gives discounted lessons, I signed up. I took the class with a friend, so I will try and get some pictures up eventually. Maybe I will even use Paint to place myself in precarious situations. You will just have to wait and see...

Time for Huge Explosions!

2006-08-31T13:06:00.000-05:00

Why don't things blow up more? I've played videogames, and because of the crushing damage videogames do to my brain as I grow up playing them (just ask Jack Thompson, professional moron), I am well aware that things that are red should blow up when shot or rammed into or otherwise disturbed.

Well guess what? The world is a little buggy.

Just this morning I saw a red barrel, which I climbed on top of and jumped up, kicking the top of it as I did. But rather than being launched far into the air and onto a ledge I could not otherwise reach I was simply asked to get down by a very realistic looking police officer.

Then there's the fact that when I push a crate it better damn well move, and I better damn well be able to climb on it to get someplace new, or it should depress a hidden button in the floor or it should trigger a trap of some kidn before it hurts me. Whatever, just make it do something. And really, all crates should be at least as tall as I am.

Furthermore, when I'm driving and I see a tow truck or dump truck or some other vehicle with a flat bed that has been angled down in the back, I will drive my car up that ramp, aiming for whatever looks awesome. Don't give me that look like I did something wrong; don't turn your truck into a ramp if you don't want me doing bitching jumps off of it. Idiot.

Don't even get me started on how some of you people don't live up to your rolls. We all have jobs to do - the world only works if everybody pitches in.

There are some folks, like Dan Metz with his jolly laugh and always insightful quest tips that does his job just right. If I'm looking for a sword or I need to get the red key card, I can always count on Dan for a sometimes-cryptic clue about where to go. Sometimes he even gives me more information if I ask him again! Caps is another good example; he has control of animals. If I need to get through the jungle, or there's a lion loose in my house when I get back from battle, I know just who to talk to. Need a place to store all my stolen goods? That's Laura's department - she can get you the inside info on that deserted house at the edge of town.

But then there's people like Pat and Glen. What the hell are these people good for? "Oh no, I don't remember how much I need to insure my dwarven battle mace before I use it to rob the bank and save the princess! I better talk to an actuary!" I don't think so. Give me a break, guys, you'd both make half-way decent black smiths, or maybe farmers. I could even see you as castle gaurds, but do something; if you're not going to contribute, you might as well just be NPC's (Non-Playable Characters).

Ya'll an embarassment

2006-08-30T22:37:00.000-05:00

Free Willy on Clarke Street for James' Birthday!!

Well, since no one has commented, nonetheless actually blogged, in what may be centuries upon centuries, I will hold up the fort by wishing Caps a very happy birthday ::insert unfortunate Nitty Gritty birthday song here::

The only thing that could make this better is if we were all sitting around the ol' TV watching MTV hits or Double Dare together...

Peace.

::insert more nastalgia here::

Little Miss Best Movie EVER

2006-08-25T15:31:00.000-05:00

John Mayer sings in pain; apparently he realized mid-song that it is only his mouth, in fact, that is bigger than his body gives him credit for.

In other news: Little Miss Sunshine is by far the best movie I have seen in several years. It was a "combustion of laughter and characterization" (quote I saw on a bus the other day) and an "indie treat." I fear the DVD release will be late, if not foiled, due to litigation for copyright of the orginal Little Miss Sunshine, of Gabrielle E Jackson's creativity. The similarities from the Little Miss book to the movie are totally obvious.

Why Metzger is my hero

2006-08-21T10:27:00.000-05:00

He wears lace with class and style....

He also makes accurate and precise graphs.

Wipert's Pilgrimage I: Holla-palooza

2006-08-08T19:26:00.000-05:00

For all of those interested, here's an act-by-act recount of my Lollapalooza experience. I had intended it to be more clever or entertaining, but it's already taken far too long to write so I gave up on that. Nevertheless, enjoy!

Friday!

Much like last year's M83, Sound Team got the festival off to a great start. Unfortunately they didn't bring the elephant from the "Your Eyes are Liars" video, but the six-piece's energy nearly made up for that. Quote The Hero, "Sound Team is a good version of The Walkmen."

At this point, I had a tough decicion to make. There were four bands playing at once, all of which I would have enjoyed seeing. I decided to start off at Anathallo. I made the right decision, as they opened with "A Great Wind, More Ash," which featured members running around frantically between bells, orchestra drums, vocal duties, and keyobards. These guys played with such energy that it was hard to leave. Luckily they'll be playing a show with Rainer Maria in a couple weeks, so I'll get to catch their full set then.

I did leave Anathallo so I could check out a Finnish four-piece female-voxed electro-rock band, Husky Rescue (or as I like to call them, "Claire from tv's lost and some euro trash"). I walked up just as they were playing one of my two favorite songs ("City Lights"), which was immediately followed by my favorite song, "Summertime Cowboy." They played well, and their live show is an improvement to the album, but overall the show was nothing spectacular.

On the way back to Wipert and The Hero, I stopped by Aqualung just long enough to be enchanted by "Strange & Beautiful." Once I realized that Aqualung has brought along a sign language interpreter with him, I decided I'd seen enough. (I later realized that Lollapalooza provided this interpreter for various acts, as I saw her at Death Cab later that day. Why Lollapalooza decided to do this is way beyond me.) I decided to head back and meet up with Captain Emo Jr. and The Hero at Cursive.

Cursive was basically a snooze fest, and I learned that Dan and Mike were already waiting for Panic! at the Disco. I met them at their stellar spot for Panic! at the Disco, or more appropriately Panic! at the Burlesque Show. While these guys are not a band I would typically listen to, they were very entertaining, mostly due to the burlesque dancers that came on stage throughout the set. Their covers of "Karma Police" and "Tonight Tonight" seemed a little overambitious, but were all in all a good time.

Next came Editors. After seeing a couple songs, all of which seemed to be the same, we decided to make the trip to the other side of the park to see Stars. Boy was this a mistake. For some reason I keep thinking these guys will be good when I see them, but they never are.

As Wipert and Mike went to see Ryan Adams, I went off to see Mates of State, who have never (until this weekend) disappointed live. Unfortunately, a festival is not the ideal setting to see the Mates. There's far too much distance between them, so their loving glances don't have the same effect. Not only this, but they came out wearing sunglasses! I understand the sun's out, but the staring is about half of the live appeal of the band. This combined with the song selection--mostly songs from their most recent two albums--and I was not very happy.

I decided to go see The Secret Machines, who I had heard good things about. I wasn't impressed right away, so I decided to go get a good spot for the next show. The Secret Machines turned out to be Mike's favorite, and according to Wipert it was one of the "five best shows he's ever seen." While Wipert's claim can't be taken seriously, Mike's made me wish I had stuck around.

Next came My Morning Jacket, who played a flawless, incredibly energetic mix of old and new material. After MMJ, we staked out a spot for the headliner, Death Cab for Cutie. Last year, I had relatively low expectations for Death Cab that were shattered. This year my expectations were high, and still shattered. Say what you will about their new album (which I maintain is a good album), but their live show is better than ever. Undoubtedly much of this was due to the stunning visuals that their new fame has afforded them. The highlight of the day came when they played Company Calls and Company Calls epilogue back to back. I'm very glad to see that they still play a very healthy mix of older songs. Also, Gibbard is a far better drummer than I thought, and the real drummer is perhaps the best drummer I have ever seen.

Saturday!

Again, we showed up early to open the day with Rainer Maria, who has recently become a favorite of mine. Not many people showed up to see them so early, so we were about fourth row to see them. These guys put on an incredibly clean show, and Caithlin De Marrais gave a phenomenal vocal performance. Go see them and Anathallo!

After RM came a disappointing Nada Surf. As always, they sounded good, but their song selection left much to be desired. I saw only one song from High/Low and one from The Proximity Effect. They played a very low energy set except for Hyperspace.

Next came another disappointment: Feist. I'm a big fan of Let it Die, but it did not translate very well to the festival setting. I feel I should have given her more of a chance, but I decided to go check out The Go! Team, who were playing at the same time.

The Go! Team, on the other hand, were perfect for the setting, as they put on one of the most entertaining sets of the weekend. I had seen them last year at Pitchfork Music Festival, but that was from afar. These guys had such extreme and contagious energy, that they became a crowd favorite. They were also the first of two bands I saw to bring local favorite Beetle Bob on stage to dance with them.
Next came Coheed and Cambria, who were much, much harder than I thought. I was expecting some emo-pop, and I got a full-blown Metal band, gothic imagery included. What happened to the whiny voice I fell in love with in "Blood Red Summer"? Sad. Not my thing, but this was Wipert's favorite set of the weekend (I guess that makes two of the top 5 shows ever this weekend.) I will say that I do love the lead singer's hair.

Calexico followed, and played a very good set. One of their epic songs would have knocked me off my feet, had I been standing. After their set, and a brief stop to see Gnarls Barkley play a very lackluster Crazy (and tell the women in the audience to flash him), we decided we were too tired to stick around to see a few bands we weren't all that interested in. In hindsight, after looking at pictures of the Flaming Lips show, we should have stayed, but at the time very little could have kept us there.

Sunday!

Refreshed from our Saturday viewing of the surprisingly entertaining Talladega Nights, we were ready to go on Sunday. We started off by seeing What Made Milwaukee Famous play a rather mediocre indie-pop set. Next was Sparta, who played a good set of, again, music I have never particularly enjoyed listening to.

We migrated to the North side of the festival to see The Frames take the stage with charisma and a series of fantastic crescendos. They got off to a slow start, but by the end I had fallen in love with their epic style. Another appearance from Beetle Bob contributed to a great set from these Irishmen. Mike and I went to check out Hot Chip lead a mini-dance party on one of the smaller stages as Wipert ventured off to see Kweller. Why? I don't know.

After this I walked around to various stages, each leading to something slightly horrifying. Nickel Creek played a cover of Britney Spear's "Toxic," The New Amsterdams played some mediocre folk rock, and Jared Leto's 30 Miles to Mars played an abysmal version of their really-not-so-bad, "The Kill." At this point I went to check out the Guitar Hero tournament, which tourned out to be a SongStar (Karaoke) tournament. This ended up being very entertaining, as there was a series of people dressed up as fictitious super heroes dancing on stage (like mascot dance party, but not quite as good) and two hosts that could have passed for good G4 stars.

Following this madness was a disappointingly quiet set by The Shins, and then some blissful indie-pop goodness from Of Montreal. Their music wasn't too great, but their banter was very entertaining, as they blamed Russians for their equipment malfunctions and told the audience, "Call us!" as they left the stage. I was extremely entertained by the latter.

We sat through the last half of She Wants Revenge and the full set of Queens of the Stone Age to get a good spot for Broken Social Scene. Their set was flawless. There were seventeen members with them for this show, and each contributed (except maybe the Stars girl) to closing off Lollapalooza (for us, at least) with an unbelievable show. Their opening song ("Jimmy," I think) was one of the best songs I have ever seen live, as it featured half a dozen trumpets and trombones all coming in to give the greatest aurgasm of the weekend. The only downsides to the show were the lack of old material and the length. BSS was kept to 45 minutes in order to bring out Red Hot Chili Peppers. The crowd stood around chanting for about 15 minutes, so they could have easily played a couple more, but Perry Ferrel is a genuine nutbar.

All in all, I had a great weekend with The Hero and Captain Emo Jr. The energy the bands had was unreal. Most bands commented on how great it was being at Lollapalooza, playing with so many great bands for so many people. This created an intense level of energy that cycled between the audience and the band, and several bands I have seen before played with more energy and enthusiasm than I have ever witnessed. While the heat and the mile walk between stages made it exhausting, seeing so many great bands play in a setting in which they are genuinely excited to play made the experience well worth it.

S.W.F. seeking advice

2006-08-07T09:03:00.000-05:00

OK, last Monday, I received an e-mail from my (male) friend telling me that it was "going down" on Friday and asked if I was "in". In consistency with my regular lifestyle, I told him that I was, of course, "in". By Wednesday, he had also invited me to go out on Saturday night and then crash at this hotel party w/ some other friends...

What actually happened:
Friday-Friend comes over at 10:30 after Lollapalooza; attempts to call other people we are to get together with. No plans ensue. Friend goes to bed on couch. It did not go down.

Saturday-Friend doesn't call to give details for crazy night of fun. By 11:30, I leave to celebrate roommate's birthday at midnight (he turned 21 the next day). It went down, but not w/ friend.

Sunday-no call from friend to explain what the hell happened.

It did NOT go down this weekend. What the shit? Why was my weekend wasted by someone else?

We finally did it!

2006-07-30T22:33:00.000-05:00

As some of you may already know, Pat and I have been trying to introduce some new words into the English language for about a year now. Pat thought he had read the word Hypster in some online review and assumed this was a word for an Ultra Hipster. Trying to be cool I began to use this work in my regular vocabulary only to find out later Pat made the whole thing up. He could no longer find the article and I'm fairly positive that it was accidentally created by him.

Well this only made me want to use the word more often. It was not uncommon to hear me yell, "Hypster alert!" anytime I got within fifteen feet of Pat. This posed a problem. What should I yell when I'm around some who's hipster qualities surpass even Pat's? What could I possibly yell upon seeing Chris Polley? We decided a new word was needed and by combining hipster and uber came to hubster - an ultra hypster or an ultra ultra hipster.

Well using these two words at every possible moment finally seems to be paying off. When Walmart decided launch a new my space type web site, School My Way they clearly went to the streets to connect with the kids and decided on calling all uses hubsters. And let me tell you Ultra Ultra Hipsters is about the only thing a person can do to describe this website. Check out the videos on the main page. They are unbelievable. Literally - I don't believe those kids made them.

While we have made huge leaps forward I have created a graph to how much further we have to go. As you may or may not be able to see hypster has been hovering around 5 or 6 people since it was first created. Also very prominent in the graph is how much the Walmart new website has helped out hubster. While still not as popular hipster, it is fairly well known now. Which is okay because as we all know if too many people know about a thing it isn't cool anymore. Which is why Pat hates Jimmy Eat World's guitar solos.

So I encourage all you hipsters out there to take the next step and become hubsters. I guarantee You'll be the coolest kid in school.

In case you missed it: child pee

2006-07-26T09:47:00.000-05:00

During one of Saddam's outbursts, Abdel-Rahman accused the ex-president of inciting violence against Iraqis. Saddam responded: "I am inciting the killing of Americans and invaders, not the killing of Iraqis. I am Saddam Hussein. I call Iraqis to be in harmony and work on evicting the invaders."

The judge told him that insurgents are killing an average of 60 Iraqis every day -- and only two Americans. "Why are they attacking Iraqis in coffee shops and markets? Why don't they go detonate themselves among Americans?" he asked.

Saddam replied: "This case is not worth the urine of an Iraqi child."

Alienation = Life

2006-07-25T20:53:00.000-05:00

On September 9th, 2005 I witnessed Sigur Ros in a live show like none other I had ever seen.

On May 9th, 2006 I saw them again, and swore I would never see anything like them again.

This Saturday, July 22nd, 2006 I was proven wrong as I, along with Harry, Arun, and tens of thousands of underage girls, witnessed the magnum opus of American pop culture.

Entire Article on Gilmore Girls in Tribune. I only read the first sentence...are you serious?

2006-07-19T09:14:00.000-05:00

Originally posted: July 18, 2006The new 'Gilmore' guy speaks
In contrast to the cuddly “Veronica Mars” session, the “Gilmore Girls” session had a feel of a cage match.
In one corner: New “Gilmore Girls” showrunner David Rosenthal, who was meeting the press for the first time
In the other: Members of the press who have written about and raved about and ranted about “Gilmore Girls” for a six seasons, many of whom were unhappy with where the sixth season ended up, and wondered how this new guy would be able to take over a show with such a specific tone and such specific voices.
It was a tough crowd. At least Rosenthal was flanked by the show’s two stars, Alexis Bledel, who didn’t talk much, and Lauren Graham, who talked a lot.
She specifically said that if the press reported her as saying negative things about Amy Sherman-Palladino or Daniel Palladino, the show’s former head honchos, she would be upset. But, having said that, she said she already had the first script of the new year, which appeared to be unusual by this point in the production process.
She also indicated that the process was more collaborative than it had been under the Palladinos. She added that though where she understood where Lorelai ended up and how she got there, she’d been unhappy with the way her character was written last season, and had expressed her concerns.
“It wasn’t my favorite stuff to play, to kind of be dictated to by Luke, but again it was a believable conflict and a believable obstacles between them. That’s why the ending [of the season] made perfect sense because she tried to kind of be in a place that wasn't natural to her, that wasn't who she is. And so ultimately she couldn't take it anymore,” she said.
“But I think you had to have that build-up to get to where we got. I mean, if everything had gone the way the fans wanted it to go in terms of that relationship, the show would be over, or I would just be calling Rory, like, ‘What are you doing tonight?’ … to me this is a relationship with a lot of built-in problems between two people who are very different, who are trying to find a common language, and so it made sense to me.”
Regarding whether she’d leave the show when her contract is up at the end of Season 7, Graham said she hasn’t made up her mind.
“I have felt that way but I haven’t been in this particular collaboration before and I think we’re all really excited to see where the show can go. I read the first script and I love it,” she said.
“I am a huge fan of Amy and Dan. I loved that writing. I had some of the best, most interesting, fun, great scenes ever. But I also think there is room for it to grow and, you know, there's all these people now where we had a more specific, smaller group working on it,” Graham said. “Now we have these people who I sat down with the other day who are so enthusiastic, who come in as fans, who come in as people who have kind of fresh voices to lend to it, and I think it's going to grow.”
Bledel said she’s also undecided about returning. “I really don't know what this year is going to be like,” she said. “I think it's going to be really different, and I'm just going to see what it's like and then decide how I feel.”
As far as capturing the tone of the show, Rosenthal said that he’s hired new writers and there are now a total of eight writers on staff, all of whom come to the show as fans of the Gilmores.
Rosenthal said he’s not treating this as the end of “Gilmore Girls,” but that if it emerged that this year was the show’s last, he’d try to find out from Amy Sherman-Palladino what she’d envisioned for the show’s last scene. She’s long said she has the last scene of the show mapped out in her mind, down to the show’s last two spoken words.
The session did turn extraordinarily frosty when one writer asked Rosenthal about some personal troubles he had that involved a fascination with Heidi Klum. He turned red in the face, and it felt like the temperature in the room instantly dropped 30 degrees.
“My personal life is not an issue here,” Rosenthal said. “It's not worth getting into. I'm just here to talk about the show.”
“How does it make you professionally the right person for this show?” the questioner persisted.
“It has nothing to do with anything. Next,” Graham snapped.
Later, Graham made a surprising admission. She doesn’t much like working with the dog who plays Paul Anka. But he will be back in the new season.
Nothing against that particular dog, she said, but “I just am not a fan of dog comedy,” she said.
After the session, Rosenthal spoke with several reporters. Part of the transcript for that session is here, the other part is on the jump of this item.
What do you feel like your take is on the show is, that might be different than what went on in the past? What do you bring?
“I’ve brought in a whole new team of writers. We have one wonderful returning writer from last year, but everybody else is new [Rina Mimoun from ‘Everwood’ is one of the new writers]. And as Lauren said, they come in as real true fans of the show.
“I think that kind of passion and perspective is great for a show, especially for people who find themselves inside the show, a show that they’re huge fans of, a show that they’re invested in. So I feel like that perspective is exciting, it’s exciting for me to hear from them, for them to share their thoughts and ideas and opinions. That’s something I feel has really impacted us creatively in a very positive way.”
“Gilmore Girls” has one of the most passionate, vocal fan bases out there. Is it the kind of thing where you just have to make the choices that you make and you can’t worry about people’s reactions?
“I think it’s wonderful, believe me, the reason the show is still on the air and does so well and I think it may have had its highest ratings ever last year because of that passionate fan base, so I completely respect and love that they’re out there. But yeah, ultimately, we spend all day every day talking about this show and talking about the characters and working very hard, in a very focused manner on it. And ultimately we have to do what we feel is in the best interest of the show, both short term and long term, in terms of where the characters are going.
“And also, we have the benefit of seeing arcs. We have the benefit of seeing the future and knowing where we want to take them. So while something may be disturbing in the short run, or upsetting or confusing to a fan, we as the writers recognize that, yes, that’s upsetting but ultimately that’s the journey that this character has to go on, they’re required to do this or that. It can be hard to go through different experiences that can be hard on them or hard on the fans, but ultimately we’re interested in personal growth. Obviously if characters never went through difficult times or never suffered, or had to face obstacles it would be hard for them to grow.
“One of the beauties of the show and one of the reasons it continues to attract such a loyal fan base is that the characters are able to grow and change and develop, like Alexis said. I mean, she’s really grown and changed over the years as has Scott [Patterson, who plays Luke]. And so that’s something that I feel is a huge identity of the show.”
How does it feel to be on a different network? Is there a different energy?
“I gotta say, we’re on the same night, the same time, I know in Los Angeles we’re on the same channel. I would imagine we’re on the same channel across the country. For us the work is exactly the same and the effort is exactly the same and the show is exactly the same. So it’s really just a question of how it’s presented and how it’s marketed and how it’s broadcast and that’s not something that we really deal with. And I’m sure that [the CW folks] will do great.”
Is the character the Paul Anka, the real Paul Anka, is he going to be back on the show?
“There are no plans for him to come back, but he was terrific on the show, so it wouldn’t surprise me. I mean it was a dream sequence. But the dog will definitely be back, I promise.”
Will the rift between Lorelai and Luke be similar to the rift between Lorelai and Rory last year? The fans hated how that played out. Are you going to play this out differently?
“Yeah, we never want to what’s been done in the past, Luke and Lorelai, their relationship is unique, it’s not a mother-daughter relationship, it’s boyfriend-girlfriend or fiancés. So we’re going to explore that, we’re going to let the characters take us where they will. It’s not going to be like the Lorelai-Rory [situation]. I’m not saying it’s always going to be pleasant or pretty, I mean, they’re two adults and they’re going to have to deal with what’s happening.”
Was there any nail-biting at all or did you always know you would be on the new network?
“No, I don’t think there was ever any question. It always seemed a no-brainer to bring ‘Gilmore Girls’ along.”

Where's your head at?

2006-07-18T19:19:00.000-05:00

I have some great news to report. The primate team here at the Animal Kingdom has asked me to fill in for one of their staff for 3 months! This is an incredible opportunity for me because it will be great experience and possibly open some doors for a permanent position. I am extremely excited.

I start today (the 19th) and will be working as a keeper with the gorillas.

I better not end up on the next Basement Jaxx album cover

In other news, I finally got an internet connection where I am living so I can post more frequently an even be on AIM.

You will have to excuse me now as I go stretch and exercise. I anticipate that working with the gorillas will be like playing dodgeball with feces, so I need to limber up a bit.

Why this page gets f'd Up

2006-07-15T09:11:00.000-05:00

It was just brought to my attention that this blog often has width trouble and the content ends up getting pushed all the way down below the menu bar. The reason that happens is because of pictures being used in crazy ways that makes the content section too wide (so it can't fit within the page width next to the menu). For example, the reason it was happening before is that we had a picture of Laura and a picture of David Bowie posted right next to each other, both aligned to the left, both on the same line. This meant that that particular line was uber wide. Uber duber wide.

So basically, rather than make the page width bariable or super wide or something to try to anticipate this happening, let's all just be nice and careful with how we use pictures. If you want to put two pictures on the same line, use the blogger picture posting interface. Under formating chose "none" - this way, if the pictures are too big to fit on the same line, they'll just get broken out to two lines. And in general, if you're going to use pictures, make sure they fit.

Alright, everyone. Go back about your business.

Mostly for Pat's Enjoyment / Mostly for Everone Else's Dissapointment

2006-07-12T19:42:00.000-05:00

I just remembered a terribly bad/great pun during July 4th weekend. I was explaining some of my job to an old friend. It went something like this:

Laura: blah blah blah construction blah blah laptop yada yada yada flat tire(s) blah blah blah asbestos

Kevin: Asbestos? More like Ass-Worst-Es!!!!!

Also--this cartoon is true as shit. We actually shipped in colored people from Botswana to eat the asbestos for our upcoming, gentrification scheme in Pilsen...

HallerStink Bait

2006-07-12T11:54:00.000-05:00

Some of you may not be aware of the strict rules that Glen lives his life by. While those of us who once lived with him know of these rules, we have as of yet only learned the specific nature of one of them. As we have only seen the HallerBalm here one time, I thought that exploiting the one HallerRules may be the perfect HallerBait to get him to come out once more. Enjoy!

I-Pass & Toll Systems

2006-07-05T16:01:00.000-05:00

This rant is mostly for Mootzy's benefit; however, some or probably most of you have felt the anguish before....

The Illinois Tollway is absurd. What should be an hour drive out of the city is actually two hours because of this state floating tax machine. Not only does it take more time, it takes more money. You've probably always wondered why Wisconsin highways (i.e. FREEways) are so pleasant. It is not because of the lovely rolling green hills or historic roadside barns...it is because it's free.

How much is the new fancy tollway costing my state??!! $5.3 billion dollaroonies. And to think, Illinois was going to sell (or maybe lease...) this fantastic asset it has to a private company. Don't they know that private companies are evil and cost regular people like you and me lots of money (let's not even get started with sweat shops...not to be confused with a tollway employee who stands in a little box collecting change for 10 hour shifts).

I wish I could say "I pass at I-Pass", but for now, I-Pass is my only time and money saver from the horrific change funnel.

By the way... come visit any time. The rolling green hills are particularly lovely here.

Voice Recorder

2006-06-30T13:10:00.000-05:00

Does anyone remember that commercail where there are two kids in the house, home alone (younger brother & older sister). The older sister has her boyfriend over and they're on the couch "watching a movie". The younger brother (on the staircase, next to pooch) records his voice into a pen recorder and says "Hi, kids! We're home early...". Then, he sneaks to just behind the couch and plays his voice recording in slow-mo "Hhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiii kiiiiiiddss......weeee'rrrrrrrrrrrrrr hoommme eaarrrrrrlly". And the sister and boyfriend jump apart to separate sides of the couch as if no smootching was going on. The younger brother grins at the camera and flashes his new device.

All I have to say is, what happened to the days of digital pen voice recorders!?!?Seeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrriiiiiiiioooooooooouuuuuussssssssllllyyyy?

Laura Bursts onto the Scene

2006-06-28T17:32:00.000-05:00

Nice - two posts in one day. Good way to start off, Laura. I've added your sunshiney face to the banner and added your moonshiney name to the side there so we can add nicknames as they come up.

While I'm here, let me just say that I am reading Harry Potter again and that kid is the most magical dude I know, next to Daniel "2,000 pound Gorilla" Gorilla. (Dan knows Tae-Kwan-Do, you know.)

(Dan is the one on the right)

Caps, look out; they're back and looking for you!

2006-06-28T16:18:00.000-05:00

Will County issues rabid bat warning
By Tom RybarczykTribune staff reporter
Published June 28, 2006, 3:07 PM CDT

Will County Animal Control officials are warning south suburban residents to watch out for rabid bats after one of the animals bit an 87-year-old Peotone man over the weekend.The incident occurred late Saturday afternoon as the man tried to protect what he thought was a baby bird from his dog, officials said. But when he reached to grab it, the bat clamped down on his finger, drawing blood.The man captured the bat and stuck him in a jar, and then went to Riverside Medical Center, Kankakee, to be treated, said Dr. Lee Schild, Will County Animal Control Administrator.Animal control workers got the bat the next day and sent it to the Illinois Department of Public Health office in Chicago. A state laboratory reported the bat tested positive for rabies, Schild said."I guess the scary thing to me here is a lot of people might not be aware that you can get the rabies from bats," Schild said. "There is a problem out there, and it is for real and it does pose a real threat."Rabies attacks the central nervous system and can be fatal if not treated in time, he said.The Peotone bat was the second this year found with rabies by authorities. Officials do not believe a bat found earlier this month in rural Frankfort Township spread the virus to another animal or person.

Life WAY after 208

2006-06-28T14:36:00.000-05:00

A couple short things as of late (now that I have finally joined the ranks):
1. I now reside in Chicago (where are you Dan and Caps??)
2. I am pretty sure I am David Bowie with my current haircut

3. I'm loving my new job. I am learning a lot about asbestos and how landscapers never call people back.
4. This city is full of weirdos. Yesterday I got a flat tire. So, I went to the tire shop called "Just Tires". While I was waiting at Just Tires there was an old man in a large sombraro...he'd walk two steps, throw up, have vomit-spit hanging from his lips, walk two more steps and do it all over again. In essence, he left a trail. Gross.
5. Cubs suck.
6. Everyone is getting married. What's that all about?
7. You ALL missed pride fest. You have no pride, at least not in fest form (i.e nude)

8. I don't have any nicknames, and now that I am part of this blog, I expect some creativity. Like...Mootzger (AKA Dave's co-worker Don)
9. Caps, glad to see the Capsasuarus lives on!!!!

Nacho Friday Revisited

2006-06-26T03:44:00.000-05:00

The World Cup has recently taken over the majority of sports broadcasts, allowing the former patrons of Adams Hall to once again revisit the joys of NACHO FRIDAY! Boo-Ya ("Board it").

Unfortunately the distance between my compodres and I has vastly increased and the chances of getting Ed's Express' Nachos Plus is practically zero. Given these grave misfortunes, I have taken the liberties upon myself to celebrate the tradition with Pat, Dave, and Dan sitting next to me in spirit. The usual spot for Friday lunches is Hooters, so the last two weeks I have ordered the chicken nachos to commemorate the greatness which was/is Nacho Friday. I have not been able to catch a full game yet, but highlights are the exciting parts anyway. My co-workers are good enough company for the tradition, but I candefinitelyy say that the wait-staff definitely looks better than Ed's' ever did(except for that emo girl)!

In other exciting news involving food, a Qdoba is currently being staffed in Orlando! I am really excited about this. Now I can practice eating two Qdoba burritos to impress all of you when I eventually get back to the Midwest (Not that eating two Moe's homewreckers with the chips was a small feat). Moe's has been a staple for me down here, so now I have another option!

Last Thursday I attended the Warped Tour in Jacksonville(I had to work when it came to Orlando). A few of the notable bands I saw were Armor for Sleep, Saves the Day, Anti-Flag, the Bouncing Souls, Motion City Soundtrack, Less Then Jake, and Catch Twenty-Two. It was a pretty good day, no rain but really hot.

Saves The Day- the first time I have seen them live. Their newest record is pretty good (I think). They played a good mix from their CDs.

Motion City- it is a lot different seeing them now on a big stage rather then at Union South or The Stage Door. They played mostly stuff off their newer album. One, short, keyboard handstand did take place.

Less Than Jake- The eleventh time I have seen them. Probably the worst, not their playing, but I was standing in front of the security guard who thought it was his duty to catch EVERY crowd-surfer. I got a good view of his large belly for most of the concert.

Let's all take a Second,,,

2006-06-16T14:17:00.000-05:00

... to give it up for this guy right here. From what I can gather, his name is Shane, or perhaps Shaner, but that sounds less like a real name and more like a nickname. I found this picture via a Google Image search for 'angry', and furthermore it was hosted in a directory called 'bfeld.edu'. When I run a search for 'bfield' on Google, it suggest that perhaps I meant 'bfield', which (as we all know) is the charming nickname used by many for Brookfield, Wisconsin, my home town. Shane has painted himself green here to pretend to be the Incredible Hulk (notice that Shane is actually pretty ripped, so good job there). Using these few details of Shane's life, I have constructed what I am pretty sure is an accurate representation of what may happen if Shane ever spoke to our very own Glen O. O'Halleran.

GLEN: Hahahaha, woah.
SHANE: Hey
GLEN: Sorry, I didn't see you there
SHANE: No problem; you going to this party?
GLEN: Yeah, this is my buddy Drake's place.
SHANE: Cool, cool
GLEN: We work together.
SHANE: Uh, cool. Well, I gotta get going.
GLEN: Oh, I thought you were coming in.
SHANE: Me? Oh, god no.
GLEN: Then why are you shirtless and green?
SHANE: Cuz I'm the Hulk, doi.

BECAUSE HE'S THE MOTHERFUCKING HULK.

Trinidad and Tobago - The Greatest Team Since Tega and Sara

2006-06-15T00:39:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows my roommate Marc knows that he loves soccer. So of course he was excited when the World Cup started this week. Anyone who knows me knows that I love TV. So of course I was happy to watch it with him.

While I'll always root for the US when they are on, I now have a new team I have decided to follow this World Cup - Trinidad and Tabago. This is Trinidad and Tabago's first year in the World Cup with reported odds of 1 to 2084*. They played Sweden this weekend and tied a zero to zero game. I couldn't believe I enjoyed a game that no one even scored a point in so much.

For those of you who don't know, if you win a game in the first round you get 3 points. If you tie you get 1. Sweden was expecting an easy win and didn't find it with Trinidad. They played hard (but not hard enough to score) and never gave up a goal. While Sweden was clearly disappointed with this outcome, Trinidad was not.

Trinidad Celebrating After the Game

I might have thought they won the game, or maybe the whole World Cup by the way the team and the fans acted after the game. I think they remind me of my intramural soccer team. We were underdogs every game and lost them all expect our last game. That game we tied it and celebrated like we won while the other team glared at us (I think we kept them from going to the playoffs). That, like the Trinidad and Sweden game was great. I know Trinidad and Tabago have an uphill battle in front of them, but I believe that they can do it. We'll find out today when they play England. I encourage you to join me tomorrow and support this great team. Because when you cheer for Trinidad and Tabago you are also cheering for our Junior year intramural team.

* I have no clue if this is true. I doubt it is. But either way they are underdogs.

Yellow Modeling Clay

2006-06-11T10:28:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the delayed post, the last few days had me dodging a brushfire (4 miles from Animal Kingdom) and preparing for the first tropical storm of the season.

The Less Than Jake in-store was pretty cool. They played about 7 or so songs and signed autographs afterward. The place was pretty small and people were packed in. I had a good time.

LTJ

The crowd.

OK, the title of this post is a tribute to a favorite movie I had while growing up. It is from Ernest Goes to Camp (Duh Vern!) I have not seen this movie lately, so I do not know how it has stood against the test of time. Probably not so well considering the other Ernest movies. However, this movie introduced me to the song "Happy Together" by The Turtles. Who are The Turtles you ask? No they are not emo or totally washed up, yet. This sextet from the 60s was lead by Flow and Eddie to combat the British invasion of that era. Anyway, I saw them in concert at EPCOT the other night(6-6-06). It was totally deece plus. Initially I had planned to write a long and elaborate plan for how their playing combated the anti-Christ from rearing it's ugly head; but I got lazy so you will have to settle for a picture instead.

Flow and Eddie leading, I can only assume, Leonardo Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo.

Demonic squirrels like French fries.

Back Again

2006-05-27T03:35:00.000-05:00

Round 2 of the Star Wars Weekends posed to be rather uneventful compared to the first, which is to say I did not upset the person whose autograph I was seeking. There were even fewer people in costume, and it was still really hot outside (90s).

Luke should have gone into town for those power converters.

On this excursion I got Warwick Davis's (Wicket, Willow) autograph for my brother. He was polite enough to ask me whether I wanted it made out to someone or just wanted the autograph. Not wanting to extend our conversation into a situation that could somehow make him angry, I said just the autograph would be fine.

Notice both parties are smiling.

Jake Lloyd (Anakin from Episode I) was also there to sign autographs. I really did not want his autograph, but check out the pictures. There appears to be an eerie resemblance to a particular actuary we know.

Could Rory be Darth Vader?

I know none of you really care, but today Less Than Jake is doing an in-store performance at an independent record store here in Orlando. I checked it out a few days ago and the place is about the size and set up in the same way as the Exclusive Company in Madison. I don’t know how it is going to go down in such a small place, but they said they were going to be recording the whole thing so that should be cool. Maybe I will post on it later…you will have to wait and see.

What a Wookie

2006-05-23T03:30:00.000-05:00

On Saturday I ventured to Disney's MGM Studios to partake in the festivities of my first Star Wars Weekend. Having high hopes of seeing Star Wars geeks dressed to the nines in their space duds, I was grossly disappointed. In my opinion, very few people came to represent their intergalactic hoods. At most I saw maybe 50 people dressed up and that includes the random guy wearing a belt with a lightsaber on it. These fans are not worthy of seeing the awesome wonder that would be Jedi Capsasaorus.

Young Padowans practicing their skills

Han Solo started his career smuggling from the Ewoks

The highlight of this trip had to be getting Peter Mayhew's (Chewbacca) autograph. I had him sign an action figure that I scowered about 5 different retailers to find. However, in the process, I think I pissed him off. Here are the details:

- I approach with the figure in my hands, saying a nice “Hello.”
- I hand him the figure and he proceeds to use a red sharpie to sign it. (I really wanted him to use a silver sharpie to sign the figure -because it would have matched the packaging and make it look nice/ cool)
- Before he gets the red marker to the plastic packaging, I ask him if he could sign it in silver instead.
- Upon hearing this he pauses. Instantly I knew I did something wrong, it seemed to me that he had paused for at least 5 seconds.
- Luckily he does not say anything, but he slowly puts down the red sharpie, picks up the silver, and signs the figure. While he does this he is visibly disturbed and I say “sorry.” He says nothing.
- After this I get my photo taken with him to prove the authenticity of the signature. Notice his expression in the photo. I am sure he was thinking Who is this American ungrateful enough to ask me to switch marker colors when I am about to sign something for him?

After the incident. I quickly left, not wanting to leave a lasting impression. Surely later that night he would justify my ignorance with the $56 he assumes I paid to get in the park that day. However, being an employee I did not have to pay. So in this case, I did not heed C-3PO's advice to let the Wookie win. However, having made this mistake, I will not be surprised if Chewbacca sneaks up behind me and rips my arms out of their sockets.

A War Brews in Chicago

2006-05-17T14:25:00.000-05:00

The north side of Chicago has been thrust under the oppressive shadow of fear as two sides in a newly spawned battle of the wills declare war on each other. Pat Hayden, everyone's favorite resident of Wolcott Ave. has now been verbally assulted (or at least confused) by the clerk of the 7-11 on nearby Foster Ave.

The first incident occured but a few weeks ago, when Pat entered the store to buy a six pack of beer and told the clerk he did not need a bag. Being a man of severe morals and very little english speaking talent, the man reportedly began yelling at Pat for up to five minutes concerning the need for the bag and how it is his duty to see to it that all beer leaving his store is concealed from the community.

This display of uncomfort was followed up less than 24 hours ago when Pat and his good looking friend Dave entered the 7-11 to buy some soda and snacks. Pat purchased a DMD (Diet Mountain Dew for those of you not endoctrinated to the Hayden lingo) and a Reese's Cup. Once again strangeness ensued, with the clerk picking up the soda and asking "Oh, you like diet?" to which Pat replied "Yes.." already clearly weary of strange verbal assult potential. The clerk then picked up the Reese's Cup and said something else about the word "diet" and then begain laughing maniacally. It can be assumed the joke was somewhere in the fact that it was not a diet peanut butter cup. After a few moments of dumbfounded stares David saw that the only way they were going to get out there alive was if someone acknowledged that man's "joke". So the weird 7-11 clerk and David laughed at Pat for a bit and everyone went home alive.

Next time the strikingly handsome Dave may not be present to defuse the situation with obviously mocking (to all but 7-11 clerks) fake enjoyment of the clerk's ramblings, and officals are concerned that if Pat and that guy ever end up in an enclosed space together the entire city of Chicago may become uncomfortable.

Luckily, Pat has declared a "Perminant Boycott!" of the 7-11 location, meaning that unless he really needs some DMD we should all be okay. For now the city can only hold it's breath and hope; hope that Pat's cube of DMD lasts until his next trip to Dominck's.

a sneak preview

2006-05-16T03:25:00.000-05:00

A Cuntry Mouse sells some Fat-Ass the Actuarial Services of GRP (Glen, Rory & Pat)

2006-05-15T15:51:00.000-05:00

(Pulls up twenty minutes late to a lunch date outside of a Bennigan's to find his client hailing a cab to leave.)

(Rolls down window.) Alright, listen up. This here's your chance to make a lot of money - all thanks to me. Sure, you could make some cash somewhere else by working hard and NOT getting wasted in Las Vegas every weekend, but then you'd be some dumb-ass from the sticks wearing his Daddy's suit and carrying your lunch to work. You want to be rich now? Get in the car.

Good choice, kid. See the truth is money is everywhere - you just need to know how to grab it before some other chump gets lucky and has it crammed up his ass by some other dumbass you don't even know! Not following, eh? Why am I not suprised. Look (lights two cigars) - Smoke? No? You better fix that, kid - life's too short for pink lungs (smokes both cigars). It's easy. You probably don't know the first thing about mortality tables, right? Hell no - you've got better things to think about. I always say parking comes first. You gotta have a place to park your car and your dick. You take care of those two things, I'll take care of your money and the dorks down at the office will take care of setting your insurance premiums.

What, you thought I did the math? Hell no, my friend - math is the first step down a path that ends in high pants, thick glasses and horse-faced broads who don't put out. You let my associates walk that path - you and I, we'll take a hard left and head down to Miami. You think I'm kidding? Fuck.

(Pulls a sudden U-Turn.)

(Takes out a piece of Orbit Gum.)

Wanna hear a joke? (Pops gum in mouth.) What's the difference between cash and credit? (Chew) Nothin' when you own Visa. HAH! (Chew, chew) Why aren't you laughing? (Chew) You don't get it, right? (Rolls down window, spits gum into open window of next car over.) You gotta start thinking big. You know who doesn't get that joke? Small time wa-hoos who can't even imagine owning Visa. Do you even want to make shit loads of cash? Because I've got to tell you; I'm the face of GRP Actuaries and we only deal with red-blooded pussy hounds. Are you looking to get rich or not?

That's what I thought. Don't sweat it, not everybody can adjust to being a millionare that quick. You better get used to it though - as soon as you sign this contract AGR's gonna make you a fuckin' BANK. (Tosses contract on client's lap.) Our rates are ass-low, and our proficiency in the latest rate management strategies is tits-high.

Here we are - international terminal. (Leads client out of car, into the terminal.) There's a flight to Miami that leaves every day at 1:05. We're on that plane, drunk before it takes off. I don't drink with anybody I don't trust, though, and I just need to drop that contract in the mail before we head out so put some ink on that stink and let's get laid.

(Client signs contract.)

Nice - wait here. I forgot my Ray Bans in the car.

(Drives off to a 1:30 lunch meeting.)

...33 Days Later

2006-05-15T03:20:00.000-05:00

The infection is clearing for an unknown reason. The specimen may not be pretty but this new life may bring the inspiration that has been lacking.

(hearing the Cranberries' Zombie actually was the inspiration for this post)

Hey all, I am really sorry for seemingly falling off the face of the planet. A certain mouse has me running a proverbial maze searching for cheese (in this case a job). Things are looking promising though, I had an interview last week and it went pretty well. Now it is back to the continuous waiting game to hear back. (Florida seems to be really draining on me lately, but it may be the fact that I am getting sick of this hiatus my life has been placed in)

This weekend starts the annual Star Wars weekends at Disney's MGM Studios. I plan on going to checking out the festivities and to try and get incriminating pictures of different characters for entertainment. Who knows, maybe I will be inspired to create a costume or something. Let me know your thoughts and I will see what I can do.

GRANGRRRRRRRRRRAH!!

2006-04-12T16:09:00.000-05:00

ARaaaaaaaa...

NAR! GNRAR!!!

Mrfr. Rfraraaaag.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT!

2006-02-24T12:30:00.000-06:00

I really hate to break the silence again so quickly after Mootzger, but Pat turns 23 today, let's all give him a big Life After 208 ruckus! Happy birthday, Pat!

I made you this kick ass cake, but all these dogs ate it.

Can you f'n believe it? I actually go through the trouble to bake you a cake, and went to take a picture of it and post it on a blog, and all these damn little dogs with party hats on come running into the kitchen and eat the whole thing! Luckily I managed to snap one picture just as they surrounded it. They paused for a moment to savor their victory, and as you can see I used my immensely long left arm to try to grab the one I figured would be the most hungry ('cuz he's the skinniest), but they all leapt on the cake the moment after this shot was taken.

See, what happened was that just as I set the cake on the table to take my picture, the doorbell rang. I looked through the peephole, and the two white ones with the firemen's hats on tricked me into opening the door by barking that my roof was on fire! They had the hats and everything, so I came running out and when I turned around to look up at the roof they all darted out from behind some bushes and ran right into my house! Thank goodness dogs don't have thumbs, or else I'm sure they would have locked the door behind them.

Also, this is how we were goign to tell you that your present is us legally changing your name to Spinach. Happy birthday, Spinach!!

Settle Down Humans

2006-02-18T11:19:00.000-06:00

I mean seriously. Life After 208 is not Tut's Typing Tutor, or what ever Apple II program your grade school made you use to learn the home row. Greatness is not measured in words per minute.

"Oh, look Imaginary Line is averaging .00000000120 words per minute while Life After 208 only is at .00000000107 words per minute. Wow they must suck!"
- Some Dumbass

I did some more research on this and Plato, who lived to be about 80 according to
wikapedia, wrote about 12 works. Now assuming that each one would be one blog post, that is one post ever 6 years or so. If we broke up his work into smaller posts, it would maybe average a post every other month.

Plato. Clearly a man with little to say.

Now, why haven't I been posting lately? Well work has been busy. Maybe you don't know but I make software for hospitals and if I don't do a good job people die. If you were walking down the street and saw me giving CPR to guy on the side of the road would you come up tell me to leave him and go post? Now what if I was giving CPR to 16 million people? Think about that before you start crying about a few days without a post.

Alright, after that I hope that you will now truly appreciate what is coming. Something that combines two 208 classic elements, a graph about the the Gilmore Girls. I decided to graph Rory's Hotness in the form of a pie chart.

It took my computer nearly five days to generate this graph, but really there were no surprises here. I do look forward to verifying the data by rewatching ever Gilmore Girls again.

Apple Ripped off the Postal Service

2006-01-27T12:46:00.000-06:00

This is unbelievable! Have you seen the new commercial for the Intel-chip Macs? With the clean room guys and all that? It is an extremely blatent rip off of the "Such Great Heights" music video.

Go here to see the apple video recreated (side by side with the actual commercial) using shots from the postal service music video. It's pretty ridiculous.

Apple did not pay the Postal Service or even get permission. The director of the commercial is the same guy that directed the postal service music video, and he just stole the idea.

Read The Postal Service's reasponse here.

Classy move, Apple.

"No Nerds"? What the Hell?

2006-01-26T15:39:00.000-06:00

Vonage hates nerds, I guess.
(You have to click on the picture to see the animation)

As a nerd, I must say I'm somewhat sad.
Just like the nerd in the picture.

Pfeiffer - Get on This

2006-01-26T10:37:00.000-06:00

We need a big ammount of server space somewhere where we can all upload / download files (movies, mp3s, pictures, whatever). Somewhere that I can put all the movies I have, and everyone else can do the same, and we can keep them stored safely.

Pfeiffer - you work with computers, right? And storage, even! Get us something like that and let us know.

And make it look good.

Fixing Qualler's Diaper

2006-01-25T14:54:00.000-06:00

"Wah wah wah! My Microsoft-certified computron-box can't understand your blog! Please make it better!" Fine, Qualler, you and your IE got what you wanted.

I'm watching these big cool trucks and construction machines (Constructacons, anyone?) tear down part of the Art Museum outside. It's AMAZING. This one has a big nose that chips away concrete, and another one had a scooper that like rolled this entire cement wall over to a third one that had what seems to be a giant and super-strong gripper claw that PICKED THE WALL UP and crushed it into bits! Oh my god - robots rule so hard.

I want to see the robots high-five after they tear things apart.

(Just goofin', Qualls)

Oh my god work is so boring today

2006-01-24T16:16:00.000-06:00

I've had barely anything to do all day. I'm creating advertising campaigns for sites we haven't even built yet. I'm building new 200,000 search term add-ons for existing campaigns. I'm going over bids on keywords in campaigns that haven't been searched for in months. I have nothing pressing to do at ALL. There is nothing I can do right now that will even been seen by another person for at least a few days. And, as such, here are pictures I find when I search for "bored at work" on yahoo image search.

I feel like this guy. Except I'm not next to a Veggie Tales poster.

Dude, that guy looks like Kris.

I suppose it had to exist somewhere.

There, I have successfully killed all of three minutes. Now it's back to adding search terms like, "Injury attorney IN Wisconsin" to the Wisconsin campaign which currently only contains, "Wisconsin injury attorney".

An Open Letter To Pat Hayden

2006-01-23T00:36:00.000-06:00

Dear Pat,

Don't go to Chicago! Remember the days you hated Illinois? Remember when FIBs was one of your top ten most used words? (I think that was right after Glen moved in) What does Chicago have that I don't? Dave? Um, wait a second...

An Open Letter To Pat and Dave:

Come back/don't leave Madison! Remember the good old days when we would all get together and Pat would shout "3, 2, 1!" in perfect rhythm to the unstarted Gilmore Girls Theme? What about Ice Cream with Glen and James!?!? Um, wait a second..

An Open Letter to Pat, Dave, Glen and James and preemptively Laura. Oh and Megan and and and all the other sell outs that are planning to or have already left Madison:

Hey guys I have an idea! Let's not leave Madison! I'm pretty sure we could take all those chicks that currently live in 208 and reclaim our house! And steal their whisky and change while we are at it! This is the fifth sentence ending with an exclamation point in a row! We can rebuild the stage and buy new bigger, better couches. Pat and I are finally good enough to go to the red shed and not get our asses kicked by everyone playing foosball. James, I'll get you a pet monkey. He can live in the attic and he will become good friends with the bats. We just won't tell the government (because I'm pretty sure it's illegal to keep a monkey and bats together). Glen, you already have a two hour commute to work, what is adding another hour on the that? And Dave did you know that Sopranos is having a new season soon? Do you really want to live through that not making semi-defrosted pizzas on my pazazz like the kings we are?

You've been out there and seen there isn't anything great about not-Madison. Remember all the great times we have had here. And think about all the great times to come, if you just come back.

Please people, it's not too late.
Come back to Madison.
Come back home.

Love,

Dan

A Clarification of Blog Status

2006-01-20T09:20:00.000-06:00

Check it, Holmes (on Homes):

Lots of people are mad about the status their blog was listed as. These statuses (stati?) were arrived upon by comparing activity on the blogs now as compared to what it was before the holidays.

Bramm-Zamm's blog used to be updated all the freaking time with great, huge, hillarious posts. The posts remain great, huge, and hillarious, but come less frequently. Thus, the current level of activity on Harry's blog is "quiet" for his blog. But that same level of activity is normal for Wipe-Pipe's blog, so his is chugging along per normal. Harry, I hope to read your genious writings daily, and literally check it multiple times every day.

Arun-Balloon's was listed as "sinking back into the grave" based on the sudden and unceremonious cesation of all blog posts on November 18th of last year, followed by three posts last week, and then returned silence. Arun's posts were always an interesting look at a different type of life that I think we all loved reading. We miss them, and want them back.

Pfeiff-Fife's was lised as "alive, as if a pheonix" based on its long standing as a seldomly-if-ever updated blog, then an explosion of content (compared to what used to be found there) since December. Joe's good shit, and I like to hear about his life in corporate america.

It's all about expectations, in other words. I'm sorry you used to post a bunch of stuff, but now I expect that from you all the time. And by the by, Arun & Co., if you're going to get all up in my grill about how you have as many posts as so and so or what have you, you better make sure you keep up.

(Chris, Qualler, Dan, Joe, Megan and Myself, thanks for all the blowjobs*)

*Speaking of blowjobs: I was walking into work this morning, and a crazy guy was running around feeding pigeons, and he stumbled into me. He SCREAMED in my face (which was full of bread crumbs) "WHAT DO YOU FEED?!?" I had to bite my tounge not to scream back, "YO MOMMA!" And high five everyone in Chicago.

The Death of the Blogulution?

2006-01-19T10:56:00.000-06:00

The Roster:
* Zombie City - DEAD (not undead)
* The Blogulator - ALIVE
* Political Pasta - ALIVE, BUT QUIET
* spanishturtle - ALIVE
* Arun in Brooklyn - SINKING BACK INTO THE GRAVE
* The Drax Report - DEAD
* Watery, Domestic - ALIVE
* Pat - DEAD
* ijfp - ALIVE, AS IF A PHEONIX
* John, the Jigsaw Killer - CHOKING ON IT'S OWN VOMIT
* Megan - ALIVE

There was a day when I would come into work and waste tens of minutes reading through post after post about what sucked and what was great, what movies changed the world and which television shows infuriated my friends. But today I find myself looking at the same titles, the same photos that have greeted me for days. How am I to know how Arun's students are progressing, or what Pat's brother Thomas is up to? Does the Drax LIKE Broke Back Mountain? And has Jigsaw been too busy ensnaring self-loathing Jews in star of David-shaped bear traps to tell us about his social agenda?

There are many blogs that have died. Some forever. To my knowledge, no one has played Urban Dead for weeks. Many blogs are suffering from neglect and lack of hilarity, this one included. Some are still kicking, but lack the fire that once burned strong within their blog-bellies.

I understand if the fad has passed, and you have other things to do, but the fact is that I don't care. I want to read about Wipert's love of Yellowcard (amen, by the way), Harry's shower Nuked Cheese, and Joe's love of Six Feet Under, but I also want to read about Metzger's latest run in with some sort of rodent, and Glen's latest red head and James' Everglade adventures. I want the Drax to hate! And I want to know of your journeys in Malton!

I do not get to spend countless hours in a basement with you people anymore, and I stand firm against the forces that would let such candor die. And I fear that we are in the midst of such a death. This is the moment of truth, Blogulution! Is this the day we returned from the brink, to charge once again into the field of battle, to roust the enemy of David's boredom and return this world to entertaining anecdotes? Or is this the day that caution was left unheeded, and indifference maintained? Do not let the Blogulution die without a fight! Every moment you are spending with your girlfriend, or reading a book, or doing your job is a moment you could be writing a scathing review of Commander in Chief, or posting a delicious recipe! Remount your keyboards, my friends! Relight the fury in your optical mice! The Blogulution is not yet dead! A rage still beats deep in its chest, and I call upon you to rise to that beat! Hear the call of your blog - it yearns with all its might for content! The Blogulution is not yet dead! It can return! We can once again live in high towers of concert reviews and inside jokes! We can yet live to see the second Blogulution awards, and I believe they can even surpass the first! The Blogulution is NOT yet dead! Rise, my friends! Rise you giants among men, you kings among princes! Rise to the call of the Blogulution - a call you yourselves first put forth! THE BLOGULUTION IS NOT YET DEAD!